Page 49 of Until Then

14

DERRICK

After Laylaand Lili moved out, time felt sluggish. But since Izzy’s arrival in May, the hours and days move by at a rapid pace, one that makes me want to hold on with both hands and beg it to slow down. To give me time to think, to catch my breath, to justbe.

The Fourth of July has been a low-key affair for the past couple of years. I haven’t bothered to take the boat out since my kids typically prefer spending it with their friends.

I can’t blame them for not wanting to hang out with their dad, even if it stings. That’s one of the hard parts of being a parent—for years, life revolves around those precious beings. Days are spent caring for them, parents are attuned to their needs and their wants. Then the kids grow up, and suddenly they have their own lives.

When Izzy mentioned taking the boat out for the Fourth, Iwas quick to say yes. Until then, it hadn’t hit me how badly I need to have something to do, something to look forward to.

“Maybe this will be the day I see whales.”

Beside me, she carries a small yellow and white cooler. I’ve never seen it before, so it must be a new purchase. It was unnecessary. If she’d mentioned needing a cooler, I would have pulled out one of the three I’ve got stored in the garage. Her tiny hot pink bikini top is missing today. It’s been replaced by a white one dotted with cherries. Fucking cherries. Her usual jean shorts sit low on her hips, the barest hint of her matching bikini bottoms poking out. Her bright yellow plastic flip-flops match the yellow towel slung over her shoulder, and her dark hair is pulled up in a high ponytail—one I can’t seem to stop myself from tugging on like an obnoxious boy on the playground.

Side-eyeing me, she says, “Reid and Via should be here shortly, and Layla said she’s already?—”

“Grandpa!”

Lili barrels through the yard toward me, her legs carrying her as fast as they can go.

She’s growing up way too fast.

“Hey, pumpkin.” When she launches herself at me, I scoop her up and kiss her cheek. “Are you excited about taking the boat out today?”

“Soexcited,” she says as I set her back on her feet. “Am I old enough to go tubing yet?” She clasps her hands beneath her chin. “Please, oh, please say I am!”

I thought that as I got older, as my kids got older, they’d stress me out less. What I didn’t account for was grandchildren. Somehow, I think most of my gray hairs are from Lili.

“We’ll talk to your mom about it.”

I send up a silent prayer that Layla will shoot down the idea so I don’t have to be the bad guy.

“Yay!” Lili throws her arms in the air and takes off toward her mom, who’s just now making her way around the house.

Beside me, Izzy’s lips twitch in amusement.

“What?” The word is a gruff exhale.

“Oh, nothing,” she singsongs.

“Spit it out.”

Her tote slips down her shoulder, and I mindlessly slide it back up.

“You deflected Lili’s question like a pro. Now the ball is in Layla’s court, and you’re banking on her telling Lili she can’t. That way, you don’t have to be the bad guy.”

I narrow my eyes on her, and her grin gets bigger.

“You don’t have to tell me I’m right,” she says flippantly. “I know I am.”

“Give me that,” I gripe, grasping the handle of the cooler.

“I’ve got it,” she insists, just like she did when we got out of the car.

Once we reach the dock, she waits for Layla and Lili to catch up, and I get the boat ready.

Ten minutes later, we’re loaded up, and Lili is strapped into a life vest that I put on her myself so I could make sure the straps were secure. But Reid and Via still haven’t arrived.

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