Page 65 of Until Then

Liking her in any way that isn’t platonic iswrong.

But I’m drawn to her. I can’t fight the urge to watch her. I turn back to where she was, only to find her gone. The guy, too.

Panic surges through me as I turn one way, then the other, taking in every group near me. But I don’t see her.

I’m being ridiculous, but I can’t stop myself as I move down the beach in search of her. I scan the crowd, but with so many tourists here, it’s hard to single out just one person.

This is my own fault. I should have listened to her. I was too in my head, and now it’s bitten me in the ass.

Though maybe this is a good thing. Maybe she should go off with someone else. It’d be a good reminder that I can’t have her.

Under normal circumstances, Izzy wouldn’t ditch me. But I hurt her feelings. Unknowingly, of course, but I did. And now she wants to distance herself.

After ten minutes of searching, I still haven’t found her. Despite how many times I tell myself to let her do her thing, I can’t help but worry.

I make my way back over to the cooler where she went for a beer. Recognizing a few of the guys, I ask, “Do you remember a brunette? About this tall?” I hold a hand up to my chest at about the right height. “She was talking with one of your friends, but now I can’t find her.”

One points his finger. “Your daughter’s over there, dude. Relax.”

I flinch, and my stomach bottoms out.Daughter.

Even these guys know I’m way too old for her.

I follow his finger, though, and find her dancing with the guy she first spoke to. She moves her body sinuously to the music. A song about dancing with your hands tied. Her eyes are closed, and the guy’s hand is on her waist, his eyes glossy with lust.

It’s a punch to the chest—one I very much need.

“Thanks,” I grumble.

I snatch a beer from the cooler and move away, but close enough to where I can still keep an eye on her.

I plop onto the sand and twist the cap off my beer, then take a long swig, sulking in my own misery.

Fuck, I’m pathetic, lusting after a woman almost half my age. A woman the same age as mydaughter.

I’ve never been one to stew in self-loathing.

But in this moment, I’ve never hated myself more.

19

IZZY

When Derrick broughtup coming to the beach for a bonfire party, I was excited. I haven’t been to one, and I was looking forward to hanging out with him outdoors rather than in the house for once. I never thought this was a date, even if I secretly wished it could be. So to be so upset when I realized he wasn’t listening? Especially when I asked if he’d want to dance with me? It was foolish.

Even so, it hurt my feelings.

Now, Dylan’s hands are warm on my waist, and my skin is kissed with sweat from the warm evening air and all the dancing I’ve done.

The sun set a while ago, but I wasn’t watching.Was Derrick?He’d been excited about it, but rather than sit and watch with him, I ran away like a petulant child. I’m sure that only solidified how he thinks of me.

The sting of embarrassment over my behavior still clings to me, but I close my eyes and move with the music, doing my best to ignore it.

Dylan turns me in the direction that faces Derrick, and I find him in the same spot he’s been in most of the evening. Sitting on the sand, nursing the same beer, eyes on me. His face goes hard when he catches me watching. Even from here, I can see the tick in his jaw.

Good, I think.Be pissed. At least it means you care.

When the song ends, I step away from Dylan. He reaches for my hip to pull me back in, but I take another step away and shake my head.

---