Page 83 of Until Then

My face instantly gets hot. I can only imagine how red it is. I’m assaulted by memories of the way he fucked me on his bathroom counter. I don’t think I’m ever going to stop thinking about that. I take a long drink of my ice-cold matcha, willing it to lower my body temperature.

“It’s going well. That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Ooh!” She brightens, patting my hand where it rests on the table. “Are you thinking about buying a place here? If you plan on staying a lot, it would be nice for you to have your own space.”

“Actually—”

“Oh, is that why you’re filming the before and after thing? Is Derrick fixing up a place for you?”

“Via, I… no, I’m not buying a house. At least not right now.”

“Sorry.” Her smile falls. “I got a bit carried away.”

“It’s okay.” I rub my fingers over my mouth, working up the nerve to get the words out. “That’s not what I wanted to tell you.”

“Okay, tell me. I’m all ears.” She mimes zipping her lips.

God, I’m embarrassed. Not because I’m ashamed of Derrick in any way, but because of the overall situation. Because of the likely awkwardness it’ll create.

“I’m seeing Derrick. We’ve… there’s chemistry between us, and we’ve decided to give this a shot. See where it goes.” I shrug, like it’s no big deal, when in reality, it’s everything.

When she’s silent, her mouth parted in shock, I find my own running to fill that void. “I really like him, Via-Mia. More than I’ve ever liked a guy, and youknowhow big my crush on Tyler Vandell was my sophomore year.”

Via shakes her head like she’s freeing herself from her stupor. “You and Derrick?”

“Yes.” I nod, tracing my index finger over a whorl in the wooden tabletop. “We don’t want to keep this a secret. You guys mean too much to us to do that, so while this is extremely new, and may seem strange to you, we wanted to be up front about it.”

She tilts her head, looking at me in the way only my older sister can—with understanding and a little bit of humor.

“I can’t say I’m surprised. I figured you’d hook up with him at some point, but I thought that’s all it would be.”

My heart lurches. “Why would you think that?”

With a snort, she wraps her fingers around her cup. “The way you look at him makes it obvious, and I guess I can’t blame you. He’s a good-looking man.”

“Oh, God.” I cringe, hiding my face behind my hands. “How do I look at him?”

“With hearts in your eyes.”

I flush with embarrassment, wishing I could sink beneath the table. Maybe even the floorboards themselves. “I can’t help it. He’s so hot. In a rugged, good with his hands, lumberjack kind of way.”

Via dissolves into laughter, practically melting into the table when she crosses her arms and lays her head on them.

“I can’t believe you’re laughing right now,” I cry. “I thought you were going to freak out and judge me and tell me he’s too old for me.”

Straightening, she sobers. “Izzy.” She clutches my hand and gives it a squeeze. There are already specks of paint on her fingers like she woke up this morning and couldn’t resist working on a piece. “It would be hypocritical of me to judgeyou for being with an older man when I’m with a man who’s eleven years younger than I am.”

“I’m the same age as Layla,” I say, voicing one of my biggest worries. “That’s weird, right?”

She hums, thoughtful. “I’m not going to sugarcoat that part for you. She’s your friend and she works for you, so it may be hard for her to come to terms with. But if you and I are having this conversation, then is it safe to assume that you’ve decided it’s worth the risk?”

“Yes.” With a sharp nod, I reach up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, but I lower it when I remember I put my hair in a ponytail today. “I have.”

“It’s okay to be scared, but focus on what the two of you are building. Don’t stress about the other stuff. Everything works out in the end. Just look at Reid and me.”

“You’re okay with this?”

She gives a soft laugh. “Of course I am. You’re an adult, so is he. All that matters to me is that you’re happy.”

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