Page 72 of Shades of You

“I don’t know.” Fear gnawed at my insides. “He called me this morning.” After days of nothing—from both our sides—I’d been happy to hear his deep voice. But our conversation had quickly deteriorated to a rehash of the other day. “It didn’t go well. And I told him we can’t be together until he works through his problems. But he’s got a point too—with my hesitancy about him meeting you guys. So the upshot is we’re talking a little but not getting anywhere.”

Harper shot me a small smile, as if she couldn’t help it. “But he reached out to you, right? That says something.”

I nodded. “He cares, but I don’t know if he’ll ever stop fighting his feelings. Sometimes I think he’s here with me, really here. But other times, there’s this distance, a barrier I’m not sure either of us knows how to dismantle. His past.”

“And where does that leave you?”

I met her gaze, finding an echo of my own turmoil reflected there. “I’m afraid of being trapped there with him. And it’s all tied up with his accident with Evan. This morning, he told me he and Evan were actually talking through things, and that has to be a good sign. But they’ve been estranged for so long, and I don’t want to wait in limbo while they work out their problems.” I didn’t mention his lost love. That felt too private, but I suspected she was part of this awful mixture of dread too.

“Have you told him this?” Harper pressed, her probing eyes searching mine.

“I don’t know how.”

“You realize you can’t change him, right?”

I slumped in my seat. “I know that. I really do. And what makes this so hard is that it isn’t just about Hunter and me. Entire families are involved!” Frustrated, I dragged a hand through my hair. “I wanted us—Hunter and me—to be a bridge between our families. To show all of you that old grudges don’t have to dictate our lives.”

“I know you did, honey.”

“And I can’t believe that Ben—” I laughed without humor. “Ben!—is the one who has been sympathetic.” I huffed and rolled my tight shoulders. At our little family meeting, Ben had been the only one openly willing to give Hunter a chance. “If Ben’s the only ally we have, maybe that’s a sign. Maybe Hunter and I are just… tempting fate.”

My sister winced. “I don’t want you to get hurt, Bren! I don’t think any of us feel hatred toward the Markhams anymore. Too much time has gone by. It’s more the particular Markham you’re involved with…”

My face flushed with heat, a mixture of anger and defense swelling within me. “See, that’s what’s pissing me off about all this! You’re making a rash judgment about Hunter without having truly met him. And that’s exactly what people have done to us Coleridges for as long as I can remember.”

“Maybe there’s some truth to that,” she conceded, taking a drink of milkshake.

Pursing my lips together, my frustration boiled over. “And yet, I’m afraid if I bring him to the resort, a brawl will break out! You want to know what else he said? Hunter told me he’d never let his family treat me poorly. That if my meeting with them had gotten ugly, he would have put a stop to it. Can you understand how shitty that makes mefeel? That I can’t automatically say the same thing back to him?”

Harper stared at me evenly, then arched a brow. “But it’s easier for him to say that, isn’t it? He’s been estranged from them for over a decade.”

She had a point, but defensive heat seared through me. I was about to give her a sharp retort when my phone buzzed against the wooden table. Hunter’s name lit up the screen, and my heart stuttered.

My consternation must have shown because Harper’s forehead grew lined. “Everything okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” I mumbled, thumbing the message open. Hunter’s words scrolled across the screen, simple yet weighted with emotion. “Hunter just texted me.”

Hunter: I miss you, and I’m sorry about this morning. Hope to see you at the championship game tomorrow.

My fingers hovered above the keypad. What was I supposed to say to that? I couldn’t tell him how much I missed him, how much just seeing a simple text gave me hope. Not when so much was in the air. I read his words out loud.

“Are you going to reply?” Harper’s question nudged me back to reality, though I wasn’t sure where that was anymore.

“I don’t know what to say. We have so much to settle, and it’s too much to put into a text. I need more time.” I stared at the phone in my hand, my heart thumping away.

Harper’s gaze was patient but insistent. “How do you feel about going to the game?”

The image of Hunter standing on that baseball diamond, eyes searching the crowd for a face he hoped tosee—mine—flashed before me. My stomach churned. “It’s the championship, so I’d love to be there for him. But…”

Harper cocked her head to one side, considering me. “You’ve seen changes in him, haven’t you?”

I nodded. “He’s not the same guy who left all those years ago. He’s really trying to move forward.”

Harper smiled. “If there’s one thing about you, Brenna, it’s your knack for seeing the best in people. Even when they can’t see it themselves.”

Her words should have comforted me, but instead, they added weight to the decision I needed to make. Was I seeing the best in Hunter, or was I clinging to a hopeful illusion? Groaning, I rubbed my eyes with my palms. “This is a huge mess.”

“Look at me, Brenna.” I lowered my hands to stare at her. “Are you miserable because you’re not with Hunter? Or because of all those complications he brings?”

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