Page 14 of Living Hell

She leaned forward, directing her devil tongue toward me. “You’re insane, Tyler, you know that, right?”

“Only where it counts.” I swiveled my hips with a wink.

“Tyler, what’s going on? You’re acting strange, even for you.”

I figured Austen would try to change the subject from his Law and Order fantasies, but there was concern on his face. It wasn’t unusual for me to say something inappropriate, but I never dragged my friends down. That was wrong.

I knew what was causing me to go too far.

“Iona,” I said with an accusing tone. “That woman is trying to steal my house with her dazzle and charm and fancy Hollywood agents.”

“Oh!” Austen said with wide eyes. “You’re the Iona Dell from Hollywood. The mayor explained that you were moving here today. I’m supposed to show you around and make sure you feel at home. He said that anything you need, just ask. The mayor will get you whatever you want.”

“Anything, huh?” Iona was practically drooling on Austen.

Wait . . . what just happened here? A moment ago, I had the law on my side and my best friend was coming back around.

Now the mayor wanted to give her anything. It didn’t help the fact that the mayor hated me. Maybe because I egged his electoral float two years ago . . . It wasn’t actually me that did it, though. I was an adult and would never partake in immature activities like that. So I might have provided the eggs . . . but that doesn’t mean anything.

“Anything, except this house. Tell her, Austen. I have the deed. It’s a legal document.”

He held up his hands between us. “The mayor can’t give you this house, Iona. He has no say on who owns what property in the town. He could, however, rename the street after you.” He smiled as if that helped her.

She tapped her chin. “I wouldn’t mind having a street named after me . . .”

“I think that’s a brilliant idea. Then I could tell guests to go up Iona Dell’s back alley to park,” I said with an earnest smile.

“On second thought, no naming of streets.”

Austen turned to Iona. “Ms. Dell, why do you think this is your home?”

She bit her plump lip, and I stared as it began to glisten. My body was at battle over those lips, and I feared who would win.

“My agent, Babette Gotti, bought the house yesterday. She explained that she saw it was for sale a week ago and requested that her lawyer secure it.”

“If I don’t own this place—which I do—but if I don’t, then your agent does. But she’s not here.” I sauntered toward her with my best saunt and leaned close to her ear. “Does this Babette actually exist, Iona? You can tell me the truth. I won’t laugh . . . much.”

She pushed me away. “You’re a real asshole, Tyler,” she said with a growl that vibrated right down to my dick. Iona walked over to the coffee table and picked up her phone.

“What are you doing?” I asked and tried my best to hide the worry from my tone.

Was she calling the police or worse, the mayor? My filter was totally off today because of her. I had no problem pushing people’s buttons. To be honest, most needed it—their uptight little lives required a shake up every now and then.

But with Iona here, my slight tremor was turning into an avalanche. And I feared it would bury me alive.

“I’m calling Babette. She can keep the house or sell it or fight you, but I’m out of here. It was a mistake coming back to this town.” She kept talking but it was more of a mumble under her breath. Something about a stupid comeback.

That was wonderful. Everything I wanted.

“But your agent informed the mayor that you’d be here at least through October. He’s beginning to plan events to celebrate your arrival,” Austen said with a frown.

Lifting the phone to her ear, she said, “I never promised anyone I’d do events. I’m not a pageant winner.”

He moved closer and swatted me with the back of his hand. “Do something about this.”

I shrugged. “What do you want me to do? The woman doesn’t want the house. Problem solved.” I dusted my hands together like I had solved the world’s problems.

“Not solved. Her agent may still own it. A person can’t sell the same property to two different people without their knowledge. But the question remains, who is the legal owner? If her agent bought it yesterday and you bought it yesterday, then who holds the real deed?”

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