Page 81 of Living Hell

TWENTY-SEVEN

Tyler

“CONGRATULATIONS, MAN!” a guy said as I passed him on the street headed to work. He held up his thumbs with a big smile.

I did the same without understanding what it was for. Everyone seemed unusually kind to me today. I stopped by the drug store to pick up a granola bar for a snack before work. The cashier said I must be the happiest man in the world. I never thought a granola bar would cause that sort of reaction but hey, I wasn’t one to judge other’s pleasures. I agreed, paid for my order, and left, hoping I never ran into her again.

I didn’t have time this morning to eat breakfast. My alarm stopped working, and I overslept. The weird thing was, when I went to check my clock, I saw it had been unplugged. It must be Jake playing a trick on me. Well, two could play at that game. I left some broccoli under his bed. He’d smell it in a day or two.

The only person not being friendly was Iona. I swear it was like a roller coaster ride with her emotions the past several weeks. One minute, she’s loving and horny, and the next, she won’t speak to me.

I love her, but I worried that whatever was making her sick, which she still hadn’t fully explained, was hurting her emotionally, too. That scared me. She shouldn’t be going through this alone.

I noticed a few people already waiting when I walked into the office. I nodded in greeting, to which they stood and clapped.

Weird. Standing ovation for being late? I mean, their sarcasm was noted, and not appreciated.

Something was going on and I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like what I heard.

I glanced at Olivia, who was at the front desk, her smile took over her face. She got up and opened her arms. Before I knew it, she pulled me into a hug. “I am so happy for you both. I can’t wait to be an auntie.”

What did those two statements have to do with each other?

I pulled back, glanced over at the waiting room, and realized we were the entertainment.

“Olivia, please meet me in my office. Now.”

I headed down the hall and sat at my desk. Olivia came in a few seconds later, shutting the door behind her.

“Why would you being an auntie have anything to do with my happiness?”

“Oh, I wasn’t about to presume . . . You know, with relations and all. I thought I.D. was an only child and you only have a brother who isn’t married. Maybe the kid could use a cool aunt who has a way with animals. You know, kids love animals.”

The more she spoke, the more confused I became.

“Let’s break this down. You are correct, Iona is an only child and I do have an unmarried brother, but who is the kid you’re talking about?”

“He or she, depending, wouldn’t be a kid for a while. So, technically, there’s no kid. Not even really a baby at this point yet. I think it’s more like a pea right now.”

I stared at her wondering if Carter had caused her to have a mental breakdown. Nothing she said made any sense.

Shaking my head, I couldn’t even think of words to respond to her. How do you respond to a woman discussing a pea?

Olivia pointed at my desk. The day’s mail was neatly stacked on the surface. I lifted the top envelope. It was junk mail about the latest in laser hair removal technology.

“Not the letters. The magazine underneath.”

I brushed the other mail aside and saw Iona’s face smiling up from Gloss Magazine. The headline read I.D. Pregnant.

Slowly the world began to spin. Was this some made up lie like the vet killer thing from a month ago? I ripped open the pages until I found the article. It was some puff piece making her and I out to be a perfect couple, yet I wasn’t in any of the photos. It would have been nice to be asked to be there, even if I would have turned it down.

“Her due date is in June?” I mumbled.

“A June baby! What could be more perfect?” Olivia said with a sigh.

“I can tell you what could be more perfect. The father knowing about the pregnancy to begin with.” I slammed down the magazine and a few pages stuck to my sweaty fingers. Flailing my hand around, I finally ripped them off and got up.

“She hasn’t told you?”

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