Page 11 of Liam

I knew this. Deep down, I knew this, but I kept allowing myself to be sucked into her orbit, hoping one day she'd see me for who I am inside. The core of me that only my friends knew.

Maybe in time, Jamal would find his way in there too.

I liked to get out early for a run, around 5 am, then go back to bed, but I was having to rearrange my schedule. The kids were still asleep when I normally would have been out doing my six kilometres. I'd have to wait until after I dropped them off at school.

I let Bentley into the backyard before I woke Rowan and Quinn, and then while they ate their bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast, I made their lunches. A sandwich, apple, carrot sticks, and a home-baked chocolate chip cookie from Ethan's coffee shop. They had water bottles that I filled with ice water. Bentley and the cats fed, and the parrots let out of their cagesand given their morning fruit, vegetables, and seed, I rounded up the kids and their backpacks.

They were in a good mood and joined me as I sang the latest Charlie XCX song in the car on the way to school. Once they were out of the car with a goodbye from Quinn and a grunt from Rowan, I headed for Elk Lake to do my run. The loop there was 6.5 kilometres.

I finished it in forty-five minutes with ease.

Feeling invigorated, I drove to my gym to work out. I started with the leg press doing three sets of fifteen repetitions. Next was the hamstring curl, chest press, lateral pulldown, bicep curls, and shoulder press. After the lateral pulldown, I stopped to take a picture in the mirror. I was sweaty and glistening. I lifted my shirt so my followers could see the ripples of my abs. I'd end my work out with three sets of twenty-five sit-ups to accentuate them for another picture.

Afterward, in the change room, I undressed to have a shower. I was standing in the busy space, men buzzing around, only wearing my slinky black thong when a young guy approached me. He was more muscular than your typical twink, but he still had the willowy build.

He was cute and sexy.

He gave me a cocky smile.

"You interested?" he asked and motioned to one of the private shower stalls.

On auto pilot, I nodded and followed him into the secluded space. With the door closed, he dropped to his knees and peeled my thong away.

I squeezed my eyes shut as he drew my soft cock into his mouth and started working it. My gut twisted and churned, and a rise of pressure filled my chest making my heart skip and stutter.

The guy lifted my hardening cock and licked my sweaty balls.

Yup … nope.

I can't do this.

I jammed my hand into his hair and pushed him away, stopping him. He looked up at me, confusion in his eyes. The only excuse I could offer him for jamming out mid-blowjob was, "You're good but I'm not feeling it. Maybe another time. I'm here most days."

The guy rose to his feet, cupped my face, and kissed me, then was off without a word.

I sank onto the bench seating in the shower stall, leaned forward, and supported my head in my hands. What the hell was happening to me? I'd been having my cock sucked by a cute guy and the thing occupying my mind, where there should have been nothing but sexual bliss, was Jamal's smile. I couldn't shake the feeling I had almost cheated on him somehow.

I thought about it all the way to Noah and Brody's house. The big house felt empty without everyone but the animals. I was used to having company at home. I had a roommate, Alesia, one of the bartenders at Noah's pub. We'd been living together for over four years. We'd become good friends. Alesia got me and knew when to call me on my shit. I didn't hide much from her, but I hadn't told her about the emotional turmoil Jamal had stirred up in me.

After storing my gym bag in the guest room, I took Bentley for a walk, enjoying the sunny autumn day. Then I went into Rowan's room to start my clean up. Noah and Brody had completed most of the chores before they went away, but they'd left me the laundry. While I made the beds and picked clothes off the floor of the kid's rooms, the mewling affectionate cats were all over what I was doing. Pretty sure they thought they were helping.

I sat on Rowan's bed when my phone dinged.

Noah: Everything going well?

Me: No issues. Just tidying up.

Noah: No trouble getting them to school?

Me: None. How's the camping?

Noah: Very romantic. It's been a while since we could lounge in bed.

Me: Enjoy yourselves. Everything is good here. I've got this.

Noah: I know you do. Love you.

Me: Love you too.

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