Page 73 of Liam

"Why on earth would you think that? You're plenty good enough for him. Any man would be lucky to have someone as incredible as you. You need to believe that."

I sighed. That was Noah's honest opinion. And I trusted him with my life.

Maybe I'd been too hard on myself.

Fuck.

I covered my face and propped my head in my hands.

"I think I might be in love with him."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"He said he needs time to think. I'm going to give him that."

"Don't wait too long. Every moment you have with him could be precious."

I emerged from my hands. "I know."

Now, I felt as ill as if I had lost my best friend in the world. And that was no longer Noah. I wanted Jamal back in my life. I wasn't sure how patient I could be.

I was so distraught; I didn't care what I was eating. Alesia had suggested we make ginger beef and stir-fried rice. I'd agreed and picked up what we needed from the grocery store on my way home from the gym. The dish included cornstarch-covered beef, sweet sauce, and rice.

My body wasn't going to know what hit it.

I set a small paper bag on the counter as well. Along with the groceries, I'd made a quick pass through the liquor store. Inside the bag was a bottle of Canadian Club.

I needed to drown the sense of loss eating me up.

Alesia started with the beef, cutting it into strips. I filled and turned on the rice cooker and took some frozen peas out of the freezer. Once the rice was cooked, I would fry both in oil. Our wok had enough oil heating in it to fry the beef. We could pull it all together in thirty minutes.

I leaned against the counter, waiting for the rice to cook. I poured my first shot of whiskey. There would be many more. Alesia raised an eyebrow at me.

"Jamal dumped me." I threw the shot back.

"What did you do?"

"Thanks a lot, Alesia. I'll have you know things were going great."

"And he gave you a shove back into the friend zone?"

I poured another shot. "Not even sure that's where we've ended up."

Alesia finished cutting the last of the beef strips, dumped them into the bowl filled with cornstarch, and began coating them. "Is that what you want? To go back to being friends."

"No, I want theuswe were building."

"Do you love him?"

"I thought I was falling for Jamal before he broke it off with me." I exhaled and stared up at the ceiling. I blinked a few times and tears rolled down my cheeks. "I do … I love him."

"What are you going to do about it?"

That was the second time someone had said that to me. I didn't know the answer other than to stay in his sphere. I couldn't imagine not having Jamal in my life.

I was scheduled to go into the youth centre tomorrow to help some kids in the weight room. I'd make a point of seeing Jamal. Maybe having me in front of him would change his mind.

That sounded so sad. I was in love with the man and that was the best I could do.

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