Page 48 of Riot

I watch her try to stay awake and it’s the cutest thing. “I think he’s doin’ what you should be doin’; sleepin’.”

She yawns. “Some wild thing kept me awake all night.”

I grin. “Yep, and if you weren’t fallin’ asleep right now, I’d take you again.”

Her eyes snap open. “Again? I thought guys could only like… you know…do itonce.”

I chuckle. “I think I’ve dispelled that rumor tonight.”

“Touché.”

I kiss her nose. “Go to sleep.” I drop my head down on the pillow and watch her as her eyes flutter closed once more.

Pretty soon, my eyes grow heavy, and the darkness swallows me up.

Blood covers my hands.

No.

This can’t be… my… my mom? I try to shake her awake. “Mom?” Panic hits me as I turn and my father’s standing over me. “Why?”

The old man sneers. “So many fuckin’ questions.” He points the gun at me. “Now it’s your turn, boy.”

Bang!

I wake with a start, jolting myself awake. Glancing around, I don’t recognize where I am.Take a breath.I’m sitting up, thedarkness surrounding me like a cloak as I breathe in and out, trying to slow my heart rate.

You’re safe.

You’re with Halo.

I glance to my right and see that she’s still asleep. Relief floods through me. I know she meant what she said, but I don’t need her seeing me like this. Still. The nightmare wasn’t half as bad as it usually is. Normally I’m tangled in the sheets, covered in sweat. Sometimes I even wake up crying. Shame washes over me. I was a fool to stay here. What would’ve happened if she’d have seen me like that?

I close my eyes, then I hear a sound. I snap my eyes open and turn my head.

“Myles.”

I stare at my little dove.

“Myles.”

She’s still asleep… and she’s saying my name?What in the ever-living fuck?

Her words are so soft, so full of love that I feel it right in the middle of my chest. Here I was thinking my heart was cold and dead, yet at her slightest touch, Halo makes me feel things I never thought were possible. I’m not quite sure what to do with it all.

I’ve never had a soft touch before. I love Charles like a father, but he was a hard man. Not brutal like my dad, and he showed he cared in so many other ways; like taking us in.

The women I’m used to; they’re only in it for the sex. Nothing more. Not that some haven’t tried for more, but I never wanted that. I never connected with any of them like I have with Halo.

My mom on the other hand — I miss her. She was the sweetest, kindest woman. The memory of seeing her in her final moments will forever haunt me. She didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve that prick of a husband to treat her that way andlive in constant fear of him. I have a lot of guilt for not standing up to my father sooner. Charles tried his best over the years to assure me that it wasn’t my fault, that I was just a kid. And while I get that, I could’ve done more.

I lean toward Halo and brush her cheek with my knuckle softly. Just looking at her calms my nerves and soothes my soul. I need her like I need the air in my lungs.

I surrender to the panic that runs through me; the idea of losing her. I’ve always had abandonment issues, which is probably why I’ve never had a real relationship. The idea of people I love leaving is etched into my soul forever. The memory of pain being so bad that I couldn’t breathe isn’t something I wish to relive. The cold sliver of dread runs up my spine as I force it away.

She’s not going anywhere.

She said it.

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