Page 76 of Riot

“So young.”

“Old enough to know how a rifle works,” I mutter. “Want to know the worst part? I enjoyed killin’ that motherfucker.”It’s why I went on to kill lots of other bad people without any mercy.“But I’ll always have that memory of my sweet mom, covered in blood in her bed. Her eyes were never dull until that day.”

She kisses my forehead, then my nose, then my eyes and finally my lips. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know she’s in a better place than this world.”

“I’m glad you did what you did to that monster.”

I blink in surprise. “You are?”

She frowns. “Of course. An eye for an eye, right? You had no choice. It was kill or be killed. He deserved to be put in the ground.”

“I like to tell myself that. After all the years of abuse we all suffered, Lord knows he had it comin’. But it’s what happened later…”

“What happened later?”

“Lots of things. I did bad shit. Went to jail. I cleaned my shit up when I joined the MC. It was the first time I’d had any sense of brotherhood. Don’t get me wrong, Charles wasn’t awful, he saved us. Gave us a place to live, clothed and fed us without complaint. I owe him a debt no amount of money could ever repay, but he’s not much of a talker.” I can’t help but chuckle.

“He sounds like a great man. I’d love to meet him one day, like you said.”

I glance at her. “I’d like that and so would he.”

She strokes the side of my face. “You’re a good man. You have a good heart.”

“My mom used to say that very thing to me when I was small and I’d have a bad dream.”

“Well, she was obviously speaking from the heart.”

I can’t meet her gaze. “I went on to do even worse shit.” My voice is barely audible.

“Riot? I know you were a sniper.”

I blink in surprise. “Wait, what?”

“I was in Mississippi.”

“Yeah, but nobody mentioned anythin’ about me…” I trail off. “Let me guess, Star?”

“Pillow talk with ol’ ladies and their man isn’t a rumor. How do you think most women in the club know about club business before most of the members even do?”

I frown. “Is that true?”

She rolls her lips. “Star was worried I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. When she mentioned your previous job, I just assumed it was in the military.”

“It was at first, briefly, but then I went off on my own.”

“As in, you were an assassin?”

“If you wanna put it like that, then I guess I was. But I didn’t just take any job. I only agreed to takin’ out the trash. I was in an anger-fueled rage in most of my twenties. I told myself I was avengin’ my mom and what she’d suffered, but that was just an excuse to behave badly. When I ran out of excuses, and hung up my rifle one last time, I knew that I’d made the right decision. I didn’t wanna end up dead, or back in prison. I also wasn’t doin’ much to make Mom, Charles or my sister proud at that point.”

She’s soft when she speaks. “I’m sure you did what you had to do. I don’t judge you for that.”

Relief escapes me. “I thought you’d think I’m a monster, like my…”

“You’re nothing like him,” she says when I can’t finish. “Nothing, you hear me?”

“Even if I enjoyed my time bein’ a sniper?”

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