Page 34 of Craze

Pellucid’s brows rise, and I realize that wasn’t the best way to sell the idea that she can trust me.

Emotional blocks don’t work. I don’t think. I infiltrate, annihilate, and evacuate.Our lips brush, but I don’t kiss her. The longer I look into the cybernetic depths of her gaze, the more I see the fear she hides.

Something is wrong. She doesn’t trust me. She expects me to hurt her, to take.

Her breathing quickens and her eyes narrow. Her eyes fill with anger.Do not touch them.

I only want to touch you.

She grimaces and rubs her forehead.What? Why?

This isn’t working. I’ve pushed to fast and too hard when she isn’t ready. It doesn’t matter if every nano in my body wants her, she’s resisting. And I don’t want that.

I had hoped she’d want me, too.

I ease back though my body aches in protest.Please don’t run.Stay here where we can protect you. I cannot bear the idea of anyone taking you apart.

The texture of her face has me reaching for her chin. I’ve never seen a Titan with so few body seams before.We are so few. Fight with us. We will give you everything we can. Just please,stay. Come and have something to eat with us. You must be hungry.

Pellucid watches me, touching her lips like she’s been stung.

I’m trying everything I can think of because I want her to be safe and protected. I also want her to want to stay. Because I desperately need her.

Some feelings can’t be blocked with a program.

Chapter 10: Craze

Navi reaches for me, runs a finger over my digibadge, and laughs once but in a sad way.It’s warm?

Is yours not?

When I reach to move her collar aside, she clutches her cloak over her chest. I don’t understand why she hides from me.

I’m burning up with remorse for my impulsiveness. So I try a different tactic and turn back toward the fire.There’s nothing wrong with being Titan down here.

What about human?She asks.

Same. We will do what we can for your humans. But sometime, I’d like to know how you found them. We have word there are more.

“Many.”Thousands.

I stall.

“Where?” Axe asks.

She slowly returns to the group. “A few Contessa vessels still in operation from the origin wars,Marst, Vessna,and other motherships, even Corenge Battledaggers. Every new subject on Sevrin’s ship had stories. I only know from listening in on the Solcrue communications. But the worst part is I’m not sure we can ever find them all.”

I look down at the rations my Brothers hand out to the females and feel they are massively insufficient. Perhaps a hunt will get Pellucid off of my mind. Maybe it will show her I am sorry for my actions that made her so uncomfortable and that even if I am an unruly unit in battle, I can still function within some parameters.

RamBash hangs his head over a motionless woman with a bandaged leg. Siam told me her name when we were on the hoverdrone. Shavih sleeps quietly not far away. Jeela watches from her place beside Shavih. The others either rest or are unaware.

Pellucid walks to the woman and sits down beside her.Not another one.

RamBash leans back and scratches his head.They are so malnutritioned. They do not have the energy reserves to heal from this much damage.

Pellucid curls around Siom, hugs her, and cries.

Titans have emotional control programs in place to hinder such responses. I do not understand why she displays such feelings unless she is broken like me. It would be nice to not be alone for a change, but I’m more concerned with Pellucid’s condition.

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