Page 37 of Craze

I can’t move from the fire without the ache in my empty stomach and my head growing unbearable.

The scent of cooked meat nears my nose and makes me nauseous.

“Navi, you must eat to live.” Shavih’s voice pounds in my head.

I can’t forget the faces of Tasha and Siom and the five others we lost before them. I let them down, and they’re gone. I don’t want to be responsible for more.

My body rises. Heat curls around me to the soft rumble of a frustrated Titan.

“Let her rest.” Jeela’s voice comes close, but the sounds are muffled and too fast, making them difficult to sort.

Craze’s voice rumbles like an idling thruster. It is hot and smooth and uncharacteristically level. “I know her pain more than you think I do.”

The warmth of his body around mine eases the aura and the tension in my stomach.

I try to open my eyes but only manage a glimpse.

The digibadge on Craze’s chest glows softly above me. Shavih’s glaring at him and tugging on his shoulder. But Craze doesn’t budge. He is a mountain of toned metal.

“Navi?” Shavih coos.

Craze’s attention falls to me. My eyes water from the pain, and I’m forced to slam them shut again.

Something smooth massages my temples and the aura fades.

Craze's voice enters my ear in soft rumbles. “I know you have done what you can. But it’s unfair to blame yourself for what you can’t control. Let me keep you safe while you sleep. You can fight me tomorrow.”

I don’t want to find comfort in him because I don’t feel I deserve it, because my trust is broken—of others and of myself to make good decisions. But as his lips graze my ear, his almost kiss comes back to me.

I remember back to the way he held Tasha as she died so she felt safe and how he daringly made himself a shield for us all as we escaped Rochir’s ship. There was disappointment on his face when Shavih told him the truth about me.

I can’t speak through the pain, but I try to relax in his arms. I don’t have the energy to fight.

His fingers work magic down my neck until the throbbing melts away, and I am left with only the weight of the cybernetics in my head dragging me into the abyss of sleep.

Off and on through the night, Craze keeps me warm and feeds me when I am ready.

I wake feeling hot and heavy to find Shavih whispering with Jeela as another blanket is rolled up and carried off by Tangle and Macabre. When I prop myself up, she wheels around and tries to shield me from the sight. But three more of our sisters have passed in the night. The missing blankets and bodies make it easy to know.

I look around for who’s left and notice Craze is missing, too.

Axe leaves his post in a tunnel entrance with urgency. Gunshots echo through the cavern.

Jeela gets to her feet.

“They are fine,” Tangle says without even looking up. “Please eat. You will need your strength. We will move camp today.”

The Titans feed us freshly cooked meat, berries, and grasses. Rations are better than nothing, but I like the change.

Soon, Craze drags in a creature that looks like Sevrin’s welvirs. He sets it on a rock and trades positions with Macabre to cook over the fire.

Craze washes his hands in the water pipe at the back and then joins us with only a glance at me.

For an hour, he turns the meat cooking on the metal rack that hangs from a pole buried in the ground. Craze offers me a steaming strip.

When our fingers brush, Craze inhales sharply like he’s overcome by some sort of rush.

“Thanks,” I say low so I don’t want the women who still sleep.

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