Page 38 of Craze

As much as I like the shelter, I don’t want my friends to live out their final days in a tunnel system on a moon. I gave them hope for freedom, but it’s still false hope in my mind until I follow through with my promise. As much as I wanted to give up during my migraine, now that it’s gone, I’m reconsidering.

In the distance, the other three Titans have become a processing plant for the welvir Craze brought back. Macabre skins. Axe slices. And RamBash tenderizes.

I tense as RamBash pounds a piece of a steak harder than seems necessary.

Craze follows my gaze to RamBash, where he angrily slams his fists down on the meat. Craze chuckles. “Don’t worry about him. We all have our demons, but to be fair, welvir is quite tough.”

“I take it he doesn’t like welvirs?” I ask, grateful he’s speaking to me aloud for a change.

“Uh, no.” Craze frees another cooked slice from the grate like the heat of the flames doesn’t bother him at all and handsit to Jeela. “Welvirs clawed him up pretty good shortly after we first set up camp. That was before I salvaged enough supplies to properly repair my brothers. I was the only one who survived the fall undamaged.”

So that’s what he meant when he said he understood.

Only after everyone has been fed does Craze take anything for himself. We’ve spent years having things taken from us. His gesture means a lot.

I know we won’t survive together if we’re divided. And as much as I hate beingplugged in,I know that compromising is sometimes the only way to make ends meet. So I close my eyes and reluctantly unlock my splay’s network connection. I change my codename to Navi and call Craze.

Navi>>Craze: I’m sorry about last night. I was overwhelmed.

Craze slows his chewing and looks askance at me.I didn’t know you were human. You were cloaked. You spoke to us like a Titan. And you controlled Ravenger III like a CyberPilot. So I must apologize for the way I—handled you. Please forgive me.

I’m sorry I let you think I was a Titan,I reply.

Shavih watches us closely from the other side of the fire pit.

I don’t think she likes me, Craze says.

I smile a little.She doesn’t like or trust most beings. But she will protect the women when I’m gone.

To where?Craze continues eating. It’s a strange thing to speak with him, to know it’s him by his voice, yet to not have the physical acknowledgement of his eyes. But it takes me back to the years of being blind and mapping things by touch and sound instead of sight. It’s unusual and yet it’s almost comfortable.

I let them hope for freedom.

They have it here,he defends.

A deep sigh fills my tired lungs.But they don’t. None of us do because we’re in hiding.

Craze scans the group.Agreed. And we will get out of here, but I think we have been aiming too low. We have to be unpredictable. So that means taking the biggest ship that sets down.

I choke a little.Come again?

He leans toward me, gaze filled with mischief. His lips purse ever so slightly, and I think he’s laughing at a private joke.The big one. They won’t expect that. They think we scurry around and steal tidbits of tech and slip away into the night. But Macabre is quite the planner. I am primary infiltration. And the others, being the types of units that they are, well, we can get into just about any building or ship we want. We just haven’t had the numbers for a full assault.

Maybe we don't need that,I offer.

Craze rests back and on the arm closest to me. His body heat warms the air between us as he gives me his full attention. The way his gaze travels over my body, stirs hot desire that makes my skin flush.

He hooks a finger around the end of my cloak beneath my knee where, I wager, he thinks I can’t see it.I’m listening.

His interest in me is unexpected. I don’t know how to handle it. The only lust I understand is Rochir’s kind.

We just need to get into their heads. Sevrin used to do it to me in testing. He’d make me pick up weapons and point them at myself.

Why?

Because that’s something most humans won’t do. We don’t instinctively want to die. That has to be a decision we reach on our own. So that’s how he got confirmation I was obeying. But in the end, he didn’t want to damage the tech he was testing, so I didn’t have to burn out my own eyes or cut my splay out. Jokes on him though, I did want to die for a long time. It’s howI made it under his radar for the first two years. When we were here last, a lot of things changed because we saw all of you.

Craze’s fingers graze my thigh.Do they have implants too?

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