Plus, I’m tired. I went to bed around one and was kept up for another hour because the dickheads who moved in next door were blasting music. That ugly old house is the only one near mine on a sparse road, so the noise wouldn’t have bothered anyone else. By the time two o’clock rolled around, I was getting ready to call the police, meaning my close cop friend Edgar, to come and sort the assholes out, but they thankfully shut it down. Whoever they are, they’ve already made horrible first impressions as neighbors.
“Coffee?” I offer.
He considers it for a moment too long before nodding. “Sure.”
I pour a mug three-quarters of the way up and go for the sugar next, freezing in the process. I cock my head to the side, raising a brow, trying to rack my brain, but it’s not there.
“I can’t remember how you like your coffee.” He usually drank tea with milk. He had coffee a few times per week, and I often made it for him, but I can’t remember how.
“Lots of cream and sugar,” he says gently.
Right. He drowns his tea in milk; he whitens his coffee. Even his alcohol he didn’t like strong.
The opposite of how he likes his women, apparently.
Ian and I were married for four years. We explored BDSM early on in our marriage, and I fell into the role of the submissive. Ian triedto dominate me, but he was too soft to degrade me or treat me like a whore like I wanted him to. After we made some new friends at a kink club called Koa in our friend Turner’s basement, I suggested an open marriage so we could explore our kinks further. He allowed me to do that but always refused to do it himself. When I broke down and suggested he sleep with his new employee, Allegra, to try to become more dominant, he finally agreed. They started by switching roles, with Allegra as the domme and Ian as the sub, and that was where they thrived. When Ian told me the truth, that he’s a submissive, I let him go. I knew he was falling in love with Allegra and that even though he still loved me, it wouldn’t be enough. What I need sexually, Ian can’t give me.
It’s been about a year, and things have been okay between Ian, Allegra, and me. But they also know I am not okay, just like everyone else. Anyone with two eyes and a pulse can tell. I’m in misery. They all assume I’m still heartbroken, and I try to shut that down whenever possible. I’m not heartbroken anymore.
I’m just lost and alone.
I bring his coffee, and he takes it, thanking me. Then I return with my own and sit at the table across from him. These were our usual seats way back when. Unless friends are over, I sit at this table alone.
“How are you?” he asks.
I shrug. “Fine. How are you?”
He pauses. Something’s up.
“Spit it out before I start to panic,” I say.
“Everything’s fine,” he starts before sighing and averting his gaze. “I need to tell you something, and I’m not sure how you’ll feel about it. But you need to know.”
“You’re pregnant?” I ask emotionlessly.
His brows pinch together. “Allegra’s not pregnant...”
When he doesn’t continue, I sigh. “Ian, I’m exhausted. Just spit it out.”
He takes a deep breath before finally coming out with it. “I’ve asked Allegra to marry me.”
My eyes widen in response. “Holy shit, you two aren’t wasting any time.”
He smirks. “Well, neither did we.”
“No, you’re right,” I admit.
We married after only a year, though he wasn’t transitioning from another relationship when he met me. I’m just... Angry.
But I’m not angry at Ian. I know how he loves. He falls hard and fast and gives everything, and Allegra does the same. Ian’s a good man, a proper gentleman in every sense. He’s even having this conversation with me now, so I force a smile.
“I’m happy for you.”
He sees right through me, but he’s got it all wrong.
“Thanks. We’re announcing it tonight at Koa. If you don’t want to be around for the announcement, I can let you know before it happens.”
“Yeah, thanks.”