“Lila-”
“Don’t,” I cut him off. “Let me?”
At first he sighs, but finally, he allows me to speak.
“You never should’ve sent Asher away. But I know why you did. Because you care.”
He nods, his eyes filling with sadness. “You know I do.”
“You risked your life to save me. I never should’ve yelled at you. I don’t hate you; I could never. None of us could.”
“Lila, you don’t owe me an apology. You were right,” he says softly. “I went behind your back to protect you from Asher, and after speaking with him, I realize I never had to. You were spiraling, and I didn’t trust you to take care of yourself.”
I smile. “If Asher were a problem I couldn’t handle, I would’ve gone right to you. You take care of all of us; you always have. Even when we don’t exactly want you to.”
He smiles. “Someone’s got to. You lot are a wreck.” His eyes drift down to my chest, where a large bandage is poking out of my T-shirt.“You have no idea how scared he was to lose you.”
“No, I do. I felt it when he found me.”
He nods. “There are a lot of other people who were scared to lose you too. People chomping at the bit to see you, to know you’re okay.”
“I know. I’m just… I’m so tired.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just let them see that you’re okay.”
When he puts it that way, I realize he’s right.
Chapter 40
Lila
Asher helps me get ready after Turner sends out the text. After we’ve tidied up a little bit with Turner’s help, the last thing I need to do is wash my hair.
To my surprise, it’s a little easier this time. We use cold water again, and Asher distracts me by humming a rock song that I recognize from him and Bane on the deck. Before I get too overwhelmed, the worst part is over. I have more strength now, but I don’t offer to finish my hair for him. The tender way he brushes my hair and dries it is deeply comforting, a stark contrast to his rugged side. He’s so gentle as he works on it, braiding it like last time.
Once I’m ready, I motion Turner to unlock the door, opening my house to chaos.
“Ready?” Asher asks.
I take a minute to force myself to breathe, and when I’m ready, I nod.
Gareth and Macy arrive first. As Gareth’s eyes probe me, I feel myself shrink beneath his gaze and decide to march straight up to him to hug him. He wraps his arms around me gently, letting out a deep exhale.
“Thank god you’re okay,” he says.
“What’re you thanking god for? It’s us who saved her,” Turner jokes, instantly lightening the room.
Within half an hour, my house becomes a bustle of activity as everyone piles in. Edgar and Nash arrive next, sandwiching me in a hug of pure testosterone.
“You scared the sweet jesus fuck out of everyone, you know,” Nash says.
“You know those security systems don’t work if you don’t shut the door, right?” Edgar asks, biting back a smile.
“That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard,” I chuckle.
Like our gatherings at Turner’s, my house quickly fills with food as people arrive. While Asher, Turner, Gareth, Neela, and Nash encourage me to eat with them, I don’t, and they don’t push. Asher mingles a little, keeping himself out of the spotlight.
The next to arrive is Juliet, and her expression breaks when she lays eyes on me. She charges me and nearly knocks me into Edgar.