Page 53 of The Guru: Shadow

“You will give up control, and if I need to break you in order for you to do it, because your stubborn, righteous, moral ass does not allow it any other way.”

What the fuck?

And as the words sank in, for the first time, she feared him. Truly, utterly feared him.

I need to get away. Far, far away.

“At least I have morals,” she said dismissively.

“Do you? Or do you just tell yourself as much because people will like you more then?”

His words seared through her like a knife. He pushed her onto the cliff she stood on her entire life. The cliff of doing what was right, socially accepted, required, and needed while something in her wanted all the things, wanted so much more, to dive into the wild waters waiting for her to finally jump. Only there was no coming back from it, as the water would eat her like a butterfly with broken wings falling into a volcano.

“Look at me.”

Unable to help herself but follow his order once again, her gaze wandered up into his eyes, and he gripped her chin, pulling her softly towards him.

“There’s nothing you cannot do,ma belle. You only need to allow yourself to truly be you. There is this lioness in you waiting to be released. And you might not see it, but I do. When I see you, all I see is this beautiful, raw soul burning me to the ground just by existing. You are so much, Emma. If you’d only allow yourself to see it, too. Because I do, ma belle, I do. Everything is possible. Everything.”

A part of her wanted to declare him a liar, but as she glanced into his eyes, he meant every fucking word of it.

And then he leaned forward, his soft, quite hot lips met hers, sweetly consuming her insides as fire burst from her core up to her stomach to her chest.

No one had ever believed in her. Feeling his words flow through her made her high from an unbelievably ecstatic rush circling through her veins.

The dangerous stranger she should run from.

Should.

13

EMMA

PLAYLIST: JOTUNHEIM - DANHEIM

It’s Saturday. I survived yesterday. Barely.

The night had been awful. She hadn’t slept at all; a part of her felt everything, while the rest of her tried to shut out all emotions. Obsessive, overwhelming thoughts tried to engulf her in a never-ending darkness, while her mind tried to recall all her childhood memories. It was crushing, and for more than a dozen times she had thought about ending the crap-shit of an event and get the hell out of here.

Only she didn’t do it. Primarily because of the stupidest reason ever: she wanted to prove she was worth believing in. Secondly, she was scared. Scared of being alone with herself and her thoughts. And scared of Deis. He made it abundantly clear she would pay heavily if she quit. The threat he sent after her while she left the room still resounded in her ears. He had gripped her arm, pulled her back, only to whisper darkly in her ear.

Leave, and I’ll destroy your life, starting with posting the video.

Just thinking of it made a shudder run down her spine.

In that moment, she had frozen. Because he had shown his real face. It was a power play for him, and she was the prize. He wanted something – her, and he would not stop until he had her. He would do everything to get her, even if it meant destroying her.

So, she stayed. Frozen in her body while her mind raced to find an escape.

She was already awake when her alarm went off to remind her she had to attend meditation; her mind doing flic-flacks through her head. It was 4.30 in the morning.

Meditating. Sitting still. Not her strength. Especially not when forced. And while being in a room with hundreds, even more than a thousand people, who all felt things and all sent vibes into the room, it was even worse. So, when she sat there in the dimly lit room, trying to focus, she was nothing more than a ping-pong ball being shot across the room by other people’s emotions.

Deis walked through the room while he did this strange thing called guided mediation, which gave her the creeps only from listening.

“Become onnneee wwwiiith theee voooid.”

Chills ran down her spine as he walked past. And then his arms gripped around her. His touch almost made her gasp for air.

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