Page 25 of Tangled Up With You

She gave me a look that said she knew I was full of shit, and I had to curl my lips between my teeth to keep from smiling. She knew the truth as well as I did. I hadn’t dated anyone in a really long time. It had been two months since my drunken hookup with Connor the night of Rae and Zach’s wedding, and even though I kept telling myself I was going to put myself out thereagain, I flaked. I told myself I would try dating apps, but I hadn’t gotten through the registration portion of two I’d downloaded.

If I were being honest with myself—something I’d been trying very hardnotto be over the past two months—I would admit that I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Connor since creeping out of his room that night.

It didn’t help matters much that the damn man hadn’t stopped trying to get in touch with me in all that time. I had been so sure he’d push me to the back of his mind and forget all about me, but Lennix had been right. For some reason, the stupid, sexy jerk wasn’t giving up. He might have left Hope Valley to hop back on the rodeo circuit, but the phone calls and texts hadn’t stopped. Despite every single one of them going unanswered, they hadn’t even slowed down.

Some days I deleted his messages without listening or reading. Some days I pretended they didn’t exist. And then there were the days I was feeling particularly masochistic. On those days I’d curl up in my bed and listen to every voicemail, read every single text, until that wall I’d built around my heart specifically to keep Connor Bennet out started to wobble.

Those days were dangerous. But so far, I’d held strong.

“I’m perfectly fine being single,” I assured my mom as I pushed up to sitting and stretched my back out. I need to focus on work and myself right now. I’m not looking to start anything.”

A crease formed between her brows as she studied me with concern. “Are you okay, sweetie?”

My mother’s insightfulness never failed to surprise me. Fortunately, I managed to keep my face clear. “I’m totally fine,” I assured her, thankful that my voice remained calm and even.

“You sure? Nothing happened?”

I gave my head a shake. “Nope. Not a thing.” My stomach lurched again, and this time I wasn’t sure if it was the lingering stomach virus or the fact that I was lying to her.

I hated lying to my mom. It wasn’t something I’d ever done. I might have been a massive pain in the ass growing up, but I didn’t lie. That was a promise I was proud I’d kept all these years, and now I felt like the world’s worst daughter.

“Okay.” She still sounded skeptical. “But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

The cramping in my stomach got gradually worse as my guilt continued to build. “I know, Mom.” I offered her a tiny smile, assuring myself that it was a tiny, harmless lie, and the reason I wasn’t telling her what went down with Connor was because I didn’t want her to worry needlessly. I took another pull from my water bottle, hoping it was dehydration from not being able to keep much down lately that made me feel so lousy. “That’s what makes you the best.”

Her expression cleared. “Okay, good. I guess I’ll get going. I need to get to the flower shop.” My mom ran the local flower shop, Divine Flora, that she’d inherited from Sylvia years ago. “But Micah told me to tell you he expects you over for dinner one night this week, and if you even think about cancelling, he’s going to show up on your doorstep and physically drag you out. He really misses you.”

I let out a laugh, trying to force my stomach to calm the hell down. “I miss him too. You tell me the night and I’ll be there. I promise. And give him a hug for me.”

She pulled me into a tight hug, the smell of her perfume invading my senses and making my mouth begin to water as I struggled to keep the bile down.

“Love you, sweetheart. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I love you too.” I watched as she rounded the side of the yard toward the front, keeping my back teeth clamped together as I faked a smile. Then, as soon as she was out of hearing range, I bent over and emptied the limited contents of my stomach into a gardenia bush.

Chapter Fourteen

Connor

Determination coursed through my blood as my truck cruised over the town limits into Hope Valley. It had been a little over two months since I last saw Ivy, and I was here to put an end to the radio silence once and for all.

When I woke up and found she’d snuck out of my room my first instinct was to be pissed off. Hell, it was still the gut reaction I wanted to jump to more than I was willing to admit, but the hypocrisy of being mad at her for pulling the same shit I had pulled wasn’t lost on me. I couldn’t blame her for what she’d done. All I could do was try to move us forward.

As badly as I wanted to stay in town after our night together and work things out, I’d had obligations that forced me to leave for a while. I had a couple big ticket rodeos I couldn’t miss out on, a photoshoot for an ad from one of my sponsors, and my mother’s birthday that I couldn’t miss.

This time was different however, because even though I was leaving, I had every intention of coming back as soon as I possibly could. No more avoiding, no more ghosting. We weregoing to hash this out if it was the last goddamn thing I did. My resolve was strong as I whipped my truck off the asphalt road and onto the gravel lane that took me to Second Hope Lodge. I knew I was about to encounter an uphill battle, but the one thing that kept me going was the fact that two people couldn’t have the kind of chemistry we did and ignore it forever. She might still hate me for what I’d done, but I wasn’t giving up.

The lodge came into view, and just like last time, my heart was beating staccato against my ribs. Only this time around, it wasn’t panic clutching at my chest. Well, notonlypanic, anyway. I would have been lying if I said I wasn’t scared sick that she would never be able to forgive me.

I’d taken the past several weeks away to really think about my feelings for Ivy and what I thought I was capable of giving her, and the decision I had finally come to was that I might not deserve her, but I was willing to do everything I possibly could to be the man she would choose anyway. If those months I’d spent on the road after our first night together had taught me anything, it was that a woman like Ivy Young couldn’t be worked out of your system. Once she was in, she was there to stay, and if you were lucky enough to experience that, you learned never to let it go.

I wanted her. Christ, I couldn’t take a full fucking breath unless she was in the vicinity. My feelings for Ivy made me start to question everything I had with Amber, because, if what I had with the woman I thought I was in love with wasn’t even half of what I had with Ivy, had it ever been real?

That particular question had fucked with my head for a while, but I was done letting my fears hold me back. The conversation I’d overheard between her and Lennix the morning of Zach and Rae’s wedding had put everything in perspective. I was ready to do some hardcore groveling. If that didn’t work, I could always try bribery; I also wasn’t above begging.

Whatever it took.

As I parked in the visitor section of the large gravel lot, I realized I probably should have prepared for what I was going to say instead of deciding to wing it, but it was too damn late as I took the steps up the large wrap-around porch at a jog, ignoring the relentless throb in my knee that had only gotten worse, and whipped the door open.

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