Page 33 of Tangled Up With You

I clamped my mouth shut and waited for his response. I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting, but it sure hadn’t been for him to shoot off the couch with a barked, “What the fuck?”

My chin jerked back, my eyes widening. “I—what?”

Connor’s face was growing redder by the second. “What. The.Fuck?” he repeated in a booming voice that made me jump.

“I-I don’t understand.”

He reached up and raked his fingers through his hair before rubbing at the back of my neck. “Christ, I knew you hated me, but I didn’t realize your opinion of me was that low. You really think I’d abandon my responsibilities? That I’d bail on my own fucking child?”

“I—” I shook my head, unsure of what to say in light of his anger. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think...”

“You might think I’m a piece of shit, but I’m going to be a part of this baby’s life.”

I wasn’t sure I could have felt any lower than I did in that very moment. “I don’t think that,” I said on a whisper, my eyes burning with tears I was frantically trying to blink away.

“Could have fooled me.”

He turned on his boot and started out of the living room, and without giving it a single thought, I shot out of the chair and followed after him. “Where are you going?”

He paused with the front door open, his head falling forward as he massaged the back of his neck. I hated the defeated slump of his shoulders, and I hated that it was my fault. “I’m going for a drive. I need some air.”

“But...” I bit down on the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying. I wasn’t a big crier, but this was the third time inless than thirty minutes that the desire to bawl had come over me. If this was an indicator of what the next several months were going to be like I wasnotlooking forward to it. “I thought we were going to talk.”

“We will,” he said, his tone void of any emotion. “But right now I’m the one that needs a little space.”

With that, he pulled the door closed behind him, leaving me feeling like the worst person in the world.

Chapter Eighteen

Connor

God, I was such a prick.

I knew the instant I drove away from Ivy’s house I was making a mistake, but after she told me she had no problem raising the baby—mybaby—without me, how she didn’t expect anything from me, not even the most basic fucking support, I hadn’t been able to pull in a full breath. I had to get out of there before I did or said something I would have ended up regretting, all because she’d taken my pride and stuffed it into a goddamn woodchipper.

I had every intention of going back. I had to. There was too much on the line, too much at stake for me to take off again. I needed to get my head together first. So I went to the only place where I knew I’d be able to do that.

I lost track of time, the dark sky outside the barn giving nothing away as to how late it was, while I worked my way through all the stalls, mucking each and every one by myself and tossing down new straw until the muscles in my back and arms felt like they were on fire.

Once I cleaned every stall, I pushed a cart of hay along the alleyway, dropping a flake in each horse’s feeding bucket. The familiar smells of the big animals and the hay and earth—hell, even the manure—helped to soothe the dull throb in the center of my chest, but it didn’t get rid of it completely.

That was how Zach found me, sweat drenching through my shirt and slicking back my hair as I worked like a man possessed, just me and the companionable silence of the animals around me. “Jesus, man. How long have you been out here?”

I braced one hand on my hip and wiped at the sweat slicked across my forehead with the back of my wrist. “I’m not sure,” I answered honestly. “What time is it?”

His eyes widened, his brows inching toward his hairline. “Just after two in the mornin’.” His answer took me aback. I hadn’t realized how long I’d been lost in my own head until then. Now that he mentioned it, I could see the puffiness of his eyes and his disheveled hair, telling me he’d been asleep until very recently.

“Sorry, man. I needed to clear my head and this was the only place I felt like I could do that.”

He moved closer. The anger that had been etched into the planes of his face the last time I saw him were gone, replaced with concern. “It’s all good.” The last time we spoke, he’d been ready to knock my teeth out for screwing around with Ivy, so it surprised me when he walked over and clapped a hand on my shoulder. “I know what you need. Come with me.”

I followed him through the barn and down a long hallway at the back that led to Rae’s office. He waved me to the couch pushed up against the back wall and headed for the mini fridge in the corner. He opened it and pulled out two beers, uncapping both and handing one to me before taking a drink from his own bottle.

I took the bottle, clutching it in my hands and letting the cold seep into my palms. “How’d you know I was here?”

He lowered his beer bottle and swallowed. “Ivy called Rae. She knew it was late but said the two of you got into a fight and you left her place upset. She was really worried.”

“Fuck,” I hissed, leaning forward and scrubbing at the top of my head. “I’m such a dick.”