Page 52 of Tangled Up With You

I expected to find Connor in the living room or kitchen when I came down the stairs. Since we started sleeping together he spent most of his time in the main house with me. He curled up on the couch with me every evening to relax in front of the TV, and when I inevitably fell asleep, he carried me upstairs to bed and crawled in with me. Other than his trip out of town, we hadn’t slept in different beds in weeks. I figured he’d come right here, but as I rounded the landing, the house was quiet.

“Con, you home?” I called, looking out at the window that overlooked the driveway to see if he was still in his truck. I didn’t stop to consider if he went to the carriage house first. I knew from our phone call earlier he’d come in first place again, so it wasn’t like he was in a bad mood or something and wanted to lick his wounds in private.

I moved into the kitchen, noticing the lights were on in the carriage house. Excitement was still fizzing in my veins when I snatched the envelope off the counter and bolted out the back door, practically skipping down the stone path that cut through the garden and led to the carriage house.

I rapped my knuckles against the wood quickly but didn’t wait for a response before barging in. “Connor, you aren’t gonna believe—” The words died on my tongue when I saw him stretched out in the reclining chair in the living room, dressed in nothing but tight black boxer briefs. That would usually have been enough to stop me in my tracks, but it wasn’t the distinct bulge behind the cotton that had my attention this time.

“Oh my, God! What happened?” I rushed to him and dropped down to the floor beside the chair.

“It’s fine,” he said, but I saw the clench in his jaw and the tense lines around his eyes as he said it. He was in pain. “I just need to ice it, is all. It’ll be good as new in a couple days.”

My jaw dropped as I looked at the knee he was referring to. “Connor, that’s... there’s no way in hell your knee will be good as new in a couple days. It’s the size of a grapefruit!”

The damn thing was swollen to twice its normal size, the skin around it bright red and angry. It looked like it was agonizing.

“It does this from time to time. Just need to get the swelling down, and it’ll be good to go for the next rodeo in Hampton in a couple weeks.”

I sputtered, my gaze darting behind his obviouslyseriouslyinjured knee and his face to see if he was joking. He had to bejoking. He couldn’t possibly think it was okay to climb on the back of a bull in the condition he was in.

I closed my eyes and took a few calming breaths so I didn’t lose my shit completely. “Connor, you can’t ride in a couple weeks. This looks really serious. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

The muscle in his jaw ticked and his eyes went flinty. “See, that’s why I came here first. I knew you were gonna make a big deal out of nothin’.”

I shot to my feet and jabbed my finger toward his knee. “Thatis not nothing! And of course I’m making a big deal out of it. You ride another bull with your knee in this condition, you’re going to seriously hurt yourself. Or worse!”

It was theor worsethat had my stomach bottoming out. “Connor, please.” I tried a different tactic since yelling and arguing wasn’t getting me anywhere. “Please, be reasonable, okay? You have two weeks before the rodeo in Hampton. Can’t you try and get in to see a doctor before then? Maybe they can give you something to help.”

He shoved up in the chair like he wanted to storm out of it and start pacing, only he couldn’t, because his knee wascompletely fucked up!

“I can’t go to a doctor, Ivy,” he clipped at me, using a tone he’d never used with me before. “If I go to a doctor, he’ll tell me I can’t ride.”

I threw my hands out at my sides, shrieking, “Then don’t ride!”

“I have to!” he shouted back. “Fuck!” He reached up and dragged a hand down his face, and I noticed the exhaustion there for the first time. “I have to, okay? I don’t expect you to understand, but this is all I am. I’m a bull rider. That’s it.”

I crouched down and reached for his hand, but he snatched it away before I could grab it. “That’s not true,” I said gently.“Connor, you’re so much more than a bull rider. It isn’t who you are. It’s what you do.”

“I have to ride,” he gritted out, his jaw working back and forth.

“Why?” I stood tall, frustration warring with concern. “What could possibly be so important that you’d put your own safety at risk?”

“I have to show them they were wrong about me.” All the air expelled from my lungs on a single exhale. “I have to prove to them that I’m better than what they thought. That I’m the best.” He raked his hands through his hair in frustration. “I can’t quit now. When I go out, I have to go out on top.”

I stood frozen, trying to understand the pain in his heart that would drive him to do something so reckless, just to prove himself to people who didn’t deserve a second of his time.

“Is that the only reason you’re riding? To stick it to a few miserable people whose opinions shouldn’t matter?”

“They matter to me,” he grumbled, and I felt a piece of my heart break off.

I sniffled, giving my head a shake. I could feel the tears coming, but I refused to let them fall until I was in the privacy of my own home. “Then I feel sorry for you,” I whispered, placing a hand on my belly. “Because you’re so wrapped up in the past that you’re putting them before all the good you have in your lifenow.”

With that, I placed the envelope on the table beside his chair and turned to leave.

“What’s this?”

With my hand on the knob, I cast a look at him over my shoulder. “It’s the baby’s gender. The doctor was able to tell at the appointment today. I was so excited I had her write it down and seal it so we could open it and find out what we’re havingtogether. Because while you were out there hurting yourself”—I pointed at the envelope—“that’s what mattered tome.”

With that, I walked out of the carriage house and closed the door behind me.

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