Page 41 of Born into Chaos

“I appreciate your help with Samantha, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to share my life story with you, Sveta.”

I try to hide how much his comment hurts and push away from the counter to grab Samantha. “I’m going to start unpacking,” I tell him, noteven bothering to look over my shoulder before walking out of the room. I kiss Samantha’s soft cheek, taking comfort in her small body and the sweet scent that all babies seem to have. She sucks her pacifier and fists my shirt, her very presence soothing me.

Several minutes later, he finds me organizing the baby supplies while Samantha watches me from her playpen. I’ve attached a soft keyboard toy that plays music every time she kicks it with her feet. She’s becoming more vocal, and every time a note rings out, she lets out a funny little squeal. Vitya walks over to her, smiling when she gets excited and does a series of fast kicks that results in several cheerful-sounding but discordant notes of music. My cousin Max would be appalled. He’s a skilled pianist, and I’m guessing Samantha’s musical performance would have him covering his ears with a wince.

Before Vitya faces me, he leans over and runs a finger along Samantha’s cheek. It’s such a sweet move, and one that makes it impossible for me to stay irritated with him. She gives another soft squeal that makes him smile.

“She seems to be getting healthier by the day,” I tell him.

“It’s like she’s a completely different baby from the one I found.” He gives her cheek one last stroke before standing back up and facing me. He scrubs a hand over the back of his neck and with a sigh, he says, “I’m not trying to be an ass, Sveta.”

“Language,” I whisper, pointing at the little baby who’s watching and taking in everything we do and say.

“I really doubt she understands anything, and I’m guessing she doesn’t speak Russian.”

I shrug and say, “You never know,” while I keep stacking diapers.

He sighs and tries again. “I’m not trying to be mean.”

I see him scrub a hand through his hair from the corner of my eye before he says, “We’ve had a set dynamic between us for two years and things have had to drastically change in the last few days and I’m still trying to figure things out.”

Looking over at him, I watch as he starts gathering together all her bathing supplies. “You know we can be friends, right?”

He meets my eyes but doesn’t say anything, so I keep going.

“You’ve always insisted on keeping me at arm’s length, more than arm’s length,” I add with a soft laugh. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“But it does.” His voice is soft, and I swear there’s a hint of regret in it. “I’m paid to keep you safe, Sveta. I’m not here to be your friend. It’s easier if I keep my distance. My focus needs to be on my job. Your safety is more important than anything else.”

“I think you can manage both.” I bite back a smile and add, “I mean, unless I’ve seriously overestimated your abilities.”

The corner of his mouth twitches like he’s fighting a smile, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Can you at least tell me where you got the tattoo on your neck? The skill involved is impressive, and I’m curious.”

At first I think he’s going to ignore me, but after several seconds of nothing but Samantha’s erratic feet concert, he says, “It was in Moscow when I was twenty.”

When it’s clear I’m not going to get a story to go along with it, I sigh and grab my suitcase. Before I walk out of the room, I haul his bag over my shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

I keep wheeling the suitcase towards the hall. “I’m getting us set up in the bedroom down the hall.”

“Sveta,” he starts to say, but I cut him off.

“Relax, Vitya. I’m not going to have my way with you while you sleep, but I’m also not going to have us all separated. We need to be able to hear Samantha if she cries, and I’m not going to be running up and down all night. We can just roll out of bed and take turns.”

“And if someone shows up unannounced?” he asks.

I shrug and keep walking. “Then we’re kind of fucked anyway, aren’t we?”

“Language, Sveta,” I hear him call out after me.

I laugh and drop everything off in the large bedroom that’s close to the kitchen. It has an en suite bathroom and a set of French doors that lead out onto the back deck. The room already has a crib in it, alongwith one of the rooms upstairs so that Roma and Isabella have a place to sleep whenever we all come out here. It’s perfect and exactly what we need while we figure things out.

I’m wheeling my suitcase into the closet when Vitya comes in with Samantha’s bathtub and bathing supplies. He puts it all in the bathroom and then steps out, eyeing the bed warily.

“It’s a king-size bed,” I tell him. “I think you’re being a little dramatic.”

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