Page 44 of Born into Chaos

By the time supper is done, I’m about ready to call it a night. I’m exhausted. I’m not sure why watching a baby is so tiring, but it is, and she’s worn me out. She loves her new swing and is happily sitting in it while I grab the plate Vitya holds out for me.

“Wow,” I tell him, eyeing the grilled chicken, asparagus, and potato. He’s even made me a small salad on the side.

We sit at the table while Samantha swings next to us, and the moment is so surreal that it makes me want to laugh. He sees me fighting it.

“What’s so funny?”

I use my fork to wave around us. “This whole thing is just so weird.”

“It is,” he admits. He cuts his chicken up and butters his potatoes while I watch him, still trying to figure out the man who’s beensuch an enigma to me. I wish he’d tell me everything about himself. I want to know all the details, where he came from, who his family is, why he joined my family’s Bratva, but I know he won’t answer any of my questions, so I keep my mouth shut by eating.

“This is really good,” I tell him. The chicken has a light barbecue sauce on it and it’s juicy and tender, and I never thought I’d like asparagus, but he’s roasted these with olive oil and added parmesan cheese, and the combination has managed to make my least favorite vegetable tasty.

“How’d you learn to cook like this?”

“I just learned,” he says like it’s no big deal. “I didn’t want to eat fast food, and I was tired of restaurants.”

“How old are you?”

He pauses with his fork halfway to his mouth and looks at me. “Thirty.”

“That gives me hope. Maybe in a decade I’ll be able to cook, too.”

“It’s not that hard.”

“Yeah, but it’s so much easier to just unwrap something.”

“But this is healthier and better for you,” he argues. “Admit it, it tastes better too.”

I chew on a piece of the chicken and pretend to ponder the question. “It is pretty delicious. How are you at making desserts? Because that’s what would really win me over.”

“I’ll see what I can come up with.”

I smile at him and then finish my meal, and when he’s done, I grab our plates and start loading the dishwasher. He cooked, so it’s only fair that I clean. If it feels odd to him that we already have a domestic routine, even though we’ve never so much as held hands, he hides it well. Vitya’s always been unreadable, though. I’ve always assumed he was just grumpy all the time, but I can see that’s more of a cover. He hides behind it. It’s a mask that’s meant to distract you, but now that I’m onto him, I want to know what he’s really thinking and feeling.

After cleaning up, we get Samantha ready for her bath. I’ve never done this before, and I’m terrified I’m going to drop her while she’s allwet and slippery. Vitya picks up on my tension and takes the lead, filling her little bath up with water and making sure it isn’t too hot before he sets it on the towel he’d laid out. She’s lying on another towel next to it, and he quickly starts to undress her.

“She’s pretty good about bath time,” he tells me. “At first, I think she was terrified. I’m not sure she’d ever been given one before, but she warmed up to it pretty quickly.”

He puts her in her bath, and she rewards us with another one of her smiles. The bathtub she’s in puts her at an incline, so her head is safely out of the water, and when she splashes, she lets out a squeal. Her splashes are uncoordinated, and I’m not so sure she has any control over it, but it’s making her happy all the same.

Vitya gets her baby soap and starts lathering her up while she kicks and flings her arms around. Figuring it’s safe enough to jump in, I start working on her hair while he carefully washes her face with a soft cloth.

“She’s going to wear you out tonight,” he warns me. “You sure you want to take turns?”

“I’m not going to make you do every feeding. I’ll be fine losing some sleep.”

He lets out a soft huff. “Uh-huh.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m nottryingto say anything. I’m flat-out saying you get really irritable if you haven’t had enough sleep or food.”

“Some people require more sleep than others, Vitya. It’s a well-known fact. It’s not my fault that I’m one of the ones who needs a bit more, and a lot of people get angry when they're hungry. That’s why the word hangry was invented. It wasn’t coined just for me.”

He gives me his usual grunt response, and then helps me rinse her hair. I try not to think about how good his tattooed hands look while caring for a small baby. I’m not exactly sure why it’s so hot, but it is. There’s something about seeing this tough man behaving so gently that really gets to me. It doesn’t help that our bodies are so close together and that his arms and hands keep bumping mine. By the time he’slifting up a naked but squeaky clean Samantha, I’m convinced I’m never going to make it through the night without wriggling my ass over to his side of the bed.

“Do you mind getting her in her pajamas while I take a quick shower?”

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