Page 22 of Empire of Flame and Thorns

“Sorry,” a man’s voice says from right next to me.

Setting down my fork, I look up to find two people standing next to my table.

“Are you finished?” the fae man asks.

I flick a glance down at the still half full plate on my table, which is a very obvious clue that I am in fact not finished. I once again look up at the man and the woman with him.

“Uhm…” I begin, not sure what to say.

“It’s just, all the other tables are full,” he continues, waving a hand to indicate the now packed dining room. “And you’re taking up a table for two.”

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. But I force myself to laugh so that they won’t feel uncomfortable too. “Yeah, I suppose I am.”

“So could we…?” He motions at the table.

My chest tightens, and I glance between them and my table. Then my gaze flicks to Isera for a second. I want to do what she did. Mere seconds ago, I told myself that I was going to do what she did. I want to tell themno. I want to tell them to find their own damn table. That I want to sit down and eat my food too.

But I don’t. Because no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise, I still desperately want people to like me. I want them to trust me. I want to be accepted.

So I force a smile and pick up my plate and say, “Sure.”

Pain and frustration swirl like a restless storm behind my ribcage as I walk away with my plate. I hate that I am this way. I hate that I desperately want people’s approval. I hate that I make myself less so that others won’t feel uncomfortable around me.

I just want to scream. I want to say what I really feel sometime instead of just saying what I know that other people want to hear. I want to push back. I want to stand up for myself.

And I will.

After I win the Atonement Trials, everything will change. People will accept me and the leaders of the resistance will finally raise me to the top levels. I will make a difference. I will help free our people. And then everyone will finally trust me.

But first, I need to actually win the trials. Which means that I need an advantage.

With my plate still in hand, I scan the dining room again.

My gaze snags on a dark-haired fae man sitting alone by the pale stone wall to my left. The man who sat opposite him has just taken his empty plate and left. But an empty seat is not why my heart jolted when I spotted him. It’s because I recognize him.

His name is Kevlin, and he has entered the Atonement Trials the previous two times as well. Some people call him Kevlin the Double Loser behind his back because of it.

Before someone else can claim that seat, I hurry over to it and sit down.

“Hi, sorry, is it okay if I join you?” I say, my voice breathless.

He frowns a little but then shrugs. “Fine.”

I give him a smile in thanks and then eat a piece of bread. He continues eating too.

After I deem an appropriate amount of time has passed, I make my voice soft as I ask, “So, you’ve been in these trials before, right?”

Annoyance flickers in his eyes, but he replies, “Yes.”

“Are the trials the same every time?”

He narrows his eyes at me. “Why should I tell you?”

I curse silently in my mind. Of course he doesn’t want to share anything that might give him an edge.

Indecision flashes through me. I don’t want to use my powers on him, but I also really need this information.

Making a snap decision, I lower my gaze to my plate and make my voice small. While he can no longer see my eyes, I channel my magic and reply, “Because I really need help. I’m not a threat to anyone here, and I’m so scared that I will be eliminated in the first trial. It would be such an embarrassment for my family.”

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