Page 46 of Empire of Flame and Thorns

For a brief moment, I consider rolling my eyes at him. But he looks genuinely angry, so I decide not to push my luck. Well, not push ittoo much, anyway. Because I simply can’t help myself, I give him a small bow that is just on the edge of being a little mocking.

My voice is laced with a slight trace of teasing as I say, “Yes, sir.”

Draven narrows his eyes at me. But he doesn’t retaliate. Instead, he simply spins on his heel and stalks back towards the arena.

And if I didn’t know better, I could have almost sworn that I saw a hint of amusement on his lips before he turned his back on me.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Alistair warned me to watch my back. And I have. In the two days since the first trial, I have carefully checked everything I eat and drink, even though Maximus is already dead, and I have made sure not to end up in a room alone with Alistair or his friends. And because of that, I’ve been able to heal without getting new injuries.

I did go and get the wound on my arm cleaned and stitched up, which helped it heal quicker. The torn tendon in my leg has also mended itself. And my ribs are almost healed as well.

Physically, I’m doing well.

Mentally, not so much.

I try to ignore the cold weight that presses against my heart as I sneak through the deserted halls of the Golden Palace. As in all other corridors as well, the faelights have been ripped out and replaced by torches. The flickering firelight dances over the pale walls, painting them with ominous shadows. I try to keep my mind on the task at hand, but I can’t entirely block out the uncomfortable feelings that have been twisting in my chest like thorny vines these past two days.

When I entered this competition, I thought… I don’t know. That I would breeze through the trials? Or something like that.

It sounds ridiculous now. But I just thought that because I wanted to win so badly, it would give me an edge against everyone else. But the more time I spend here, the more I realize thateveryonedesperately wants to win. And I don’t know if I’m skilled enough, and ruthless enough, to beat them.

As I turn another corner and sneak down the next corridor, my mind drifts back to the previous trial.

Bitterness crawls up my throat.

That trial was a brutal reminder that I can be eliminated at any time. I wasluckythat I managed to make it through to the next trial. People like Isera and Alistair have magic that is much more versatile. Mine is so specific. So limited. And that’s not even taking into account my own stupidity.

I clench my fist and shake my head at myself as I disappear down another corridor.

During the trial, I didn’t even try to win. I just tried not to lose. I didn’t even think about ways of making other people go outside the ring. All I thought about was how to keep myself inside by trying to calm people down or create sympathy so that they wouldn’t attack me. It was a dangerous and stupid and frankly outright pitiful tactic.

If I wanted to, I could have reached out with my magic and increased everyone’s panic and worry. Because I know that most of them felt it. Most of them were worried that they would be pushed outside the ring and were panicking when they were being attacked. I could have latched on to that fear and panic and made them lose their cool entirely. It would have made lots of people blindly sprint away, causing them to end up outside the ring before they even knew what they were doing.

But I didn’t.

Because deep inside my stupid heart, I still want people to like me.

I resist the urge to bang my fist against the wall in frustration. This is an important competition, I know that. Important andrare. After this, there are one hundred and fifty years until we’re given another chance to compete in the Atonement Trials and win the privilege to leave the Seelie Court. I need to win this one. Right now. So that I can make a real difference for our resistance. So why do I still worry about something as trivial as whether or not people like me? It’s absurd.

Once more shaking my head at my own stupidity, I slip down the stairs and finally reach a section of the castle that I have never visited before.

The previous trial showed that I can be sent packing at any time, so I need to make the most of this opportunity in every way I can. If I can’t win the Atonement Trials, maybe I can at least overhear something important here among the dragon shifters that I can bring back to the leaders of the resistance.

Drawing myself up along the wall, I cast a quick glance around the corner.

Empty.

After slipping around the corner, I sneak down the hall on silent feet. The south wing is quite far from the royal wing, so I doubt that I’ll be able to make it all the way to the Icehearts’ rooms. But maybe I can manage to spy on some of the clan leaders.

My heart patters against my barely healed ribs as I approach the next corner.

Voices drift out from the corridor beyond.

A jolt shoots through me.

Pressing myself against the wall, I edge forward until I can flick a glance around the corner. I yank my head back, my pulse thrumming in my ears.

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