Page 89 of Siege of Blood and Betrayal

“Forgive him, lass. It’s been the greatest honor of my life to be yer da, but yer a chip off my block. Deep breaths. Love ye forever and always.”

My vision blurs behind a swell of tears, and I wrinkle my nose to fight the sting back. “He destroyed me, Jack. You were there. You saw me at the worst. Do you have any idea what you’re asking of me?”

“I’m afraid I do, kid. I’m sorry this landed on your shoulders, but we both know Bran would never gift you his powers on a whim. You always trusted his judgment, right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Then trust him now. Trust that he had a plan.”

Forgive him, lass.

I pull in a deep breath, forcing air into lead lungs. “I’ve been hurt and angry so long, I don’t know how to forgive him. What if I’m truly broken? What if I let him in again and he sees the damage done and he pushes me away again?”

Hot tears stream down my cheeks, and I swipe them away as quickly as I can, fighting not to fall apart. Sure, he knows what happened to me in New York and came to stay with me during my recovery, but even he doesn’t truly understand what I went through.

No one does.

“Scotland McCullough, look at me.” I don’t want to, but Jack’s love has always been a safe place for me, so I try. His eyes shine with love as he slides off his seat to kneel next to me. “He won’t push you away again, sweet girl, and he never would’ve pushed you away then if he wasn’t lost to his vampire side. Hedidn’t have control, kid. He was afraid his hungers would devour you.”

I shake my head. “You weren’t there.”

“No, I wasn’t, but I was there when he slaughtered three UofT students coming home from a play a week later. He drained them dry and didn’t remember doing it. He woke from the haze of his primal hunger covered in blood, with his fangs still locked in one of the girls’ thighs.”

What? That can’t be true.

“His transition into adulthood was a dangerous time for him, kid. His darkest impulses had a tight grip on him and didn’t let go for several years.”

“Years? Why was it so bad? I’ve seen clan members struggle before, but nothing like that.”

“Zane’s a Fondatori royal. That means more than him being faster and stronger than his peers. It also means his vampire side is hungrier and more volatile, too.”

He lets the conversation fall silent for a few minutes, then he squeezes my shoulder. “He’s a vampire, kid. Don’t equate him with the guys you met at university. Vampires feel emotions ten times deeper, they hunger ten times more, and they struggle ten times more. He won’t push you away again. Trust me. If you give him even the slightest opening, he’ll show you what we’ve all known for years. He loves you, Scottie, and he’ll do anything to get you back in his life.”

I flop backward on the mat and pull the towel over my head. No. I swore I’d never open myself up to him or anyone like that again.

Why would Da do this to me?

Even as I ask myself the question, I know the answer. Da knew me better than anyone. He knew I was hiding part of myself away. He knew I’d built up walls to protect my heart.

“You know how to read him. You understand him better than he understands himself. When the darkness takes hold, you need to see it coming. When his beast hungers to tear someone’s throat out, you are the one with the power to pull him back.”

“What if I don’twantit to be me?”

“But itisyou. You wear the mark of the Vasari Sacred Squire. For now, you’re doing your father’s bidding, but one day soon, you might feel differently. If that time comes, everything will change.”

I pull the towel off my face and finger through the mess I’ve made of my hair. “Change how?”

Jack rubs a hand over his stubbled chin. “When you and Zane get on the same page, the bond will really take hold. Then, when you fight to keep him safe, the magic that ties you to Zane’s life force will amplify your strength and give you the power to channel his anger and redirect it.”

I think about all the times Da talked Francesco down when he was infuriated about something. I always knew they were close; I just didn’t know how it worked.

“But that connection cuts both ways. It means feeling what he feels, knowing what he knows. It’s a heavy weight, but it’s also an incredible honor to be bound to someone like that.”

I stare down at the Vasari crest tattooed into my forearm, the wheels of my mind turning. Da raised me to be a survivor, but this will be a different battle. This fight isn’t about fists and speed and taking a hit.

It’s about trust and forgiveness and taking a risk I really don’t want to take. But if what Jack said is true, it makes sense why Da wanted me at Zane’s side.

Dammit, Da. Why do you always have to be right?

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