Page 36 of Sexy Bad Neighbor

“What happened to Dr. Gertney?” I’ve only lived here for a year, but according to my neighbors, Dr. Gertney has been the president of the HOA since the first house went up, forty years ago.

“Died. Lung cancer. Very sudden.” She didn’t even pretend to have a bit of sympathy for the poor man.

“Wow. I didn’t even hear about it.” Of course, I’d been a bit preoccupied lately with thinking about and then getting naked with Paynter. “And you’re the new president. Were you on the board?” If she was, she hasn’t been to any of the quarterly meetings I’ve attended.

Flipping her hair over her shoulder like a movie star, she says, “I moved into the neighborhood about three months ago. But I’m quite aggressive.” She flashes a toothy grin that makes me think of sharks. I clutch the goat to my chest and take another step away.

“When I want something, I get it. Every time. Well, not every time, I suppose.” She glances at Paynter’s house. Did she, too, want this one but ended up with her second choice, like I had?

“There isn’t a bad house in this neighborhood.”

“Some are certainly better than others.”

I couldn’t argue.

“You say you’re friends with Paynter?”

I nod. “You’ve met Paynter?” I’m not surprised, really. Besides the fact that he’s beautiful even just to stare at, the man works from home, so he would have significantly more opportunity to meet the neighbors than someone like me, who works too many hours at an office and then escapes to the privacy of my home without bothering to wave at people who walk or drive by.

Ignoring my question, she asks, “Do you know if he’s replaced the chandelier?”

I chuckle. “Yes, although I’m not sure the replacement is much better. Actually, I’ve seen both, and I can tell you, the original is way better.”

“You liked the original?” Is that an almost genuine smile on her lips?

I shrug. “Like I said, it was better than what’s there now.”

She’s staring at the house like she wants to go inside and check out the new light fixture in the foyer. I understand the feeling, because I loved this house, too, once upon a time. Although it’s funny, the more time I spend there, the more it seems to be about the man and not the abode.

She isn’t a particularly pleasant person, but she is the president of the HOA and she personifies everything I strive to be, or so it appears on the outside. And if Paynter plans to keep Spot as a pet, I should probably attempt to make friends with the person who has the authority to force him to give up his new kid. I open my mouth, prepared to invite her into his house, figuring she’ll find the chandelier as horrendous as the rest of us, when Paynter’s voice cuts me off.

“Hey, Chloe, you back here?” he calls out as he rounds the corner, balancing a bunch of metal poles on his shoulder. “Can you help me carry this stuff? There’s this tractor supply place about ten miles away, so I went out there to get feed and straw and stuff for Spot, plus they had the perfect supplies to make a pen and...” He stops in his tracks when he sees me and the president of the HOA, and a moment later, the metal poles go crashing to the ground.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Bernadette?”

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