Page 39 of Keeping Mr. Sweet

I hate this day. I hate the reminder of a woman I never met, and that I lost my dad on the same day. Maybe things could have been different if it weren’t for this day twenty-six years ago.

I’d almost forgotten about it being my birthday too. Almost. Until Luca messaged me. Happy birthday, princess. I’ve got a surprise for you.

I didn’t need the last two sentences to read between the lines.

Unless your daddy has a present for me?A million of them would do.

How am I supposed to talk my dad into parting with a million dollars when he won’t even answer my calls? Sam’s tried to get rid of the tape, but it’s still out there. If Luca tells people I’m Robert Durum’s daughter the video will go viral again. Only this time it will be so much bigger and worse. Luca will profit from selling a kiss and tell to magazines just because I’m the daughter no one knew the CEO of Durum Tech had.

It would ruin Robert’s reputation. His business would suffer. All the money and time he’s put into children’s charities won’t mean anything if people find out that the man whose made billions from apps and programs and devices aimed at bringing family together and educating children has a daughter he wants nothing to do with. It’ll be so much worse than it is already. I’ll never be able to escape it.

“Are you all right, Ash?” Sam steps out into the cold. He’s not wearing a coat. Just a long-sleeved shirt, and he rubs his hands up and down his arms as he bounces to keep warm. White clouds form in front of his lips when he speaks. “Ru said you’ve been out here for a while now.”

“Sorry. I was supposed to clean up the downstairs storage room, wasn’t I?” I duck my head as I start to walk past him and back inside. “I’ll do that right now.”

“Hold on a minute,” he orders as he grabs my bicep, tugging me nearer. His thumb raises goose bumps along my skin through the thick sleeve of my coat. “Talk to me?”

I can’t.

Not about Luca, though I long to. But if I tell him about Luca’s threats, he’ll want to fix it. He’ll find the money if that’s what it takes, no matter what it might cost him, and I can’t let him risk everything for me. I won’t. Not this time. He’s always taken care of me, always insisted he wants to. It would be easy to let him continue to do so, but I need to stand on my own two feet. I don’t want to be the kid he rescues anymore. I don’t want him to think I’m here because he looks after me. If we’re going to be together, he needs to know I’m capable of handling my own problems. That I’m here because I want him, just him, because of who he is, and not because he saves me. I’ll figure out how to deal with Luca. For once in my life I’m going to fix my own problems. On my own.

“I tried to call my dad.”

“Still no answer?”

“No,” I say, shrugging it off and pocketing my phone. “He never does.”

“Ash, you know—”

“Please don’t tell me that he’s probably busy, or that he’s not ignoring me. I think we’ve both worked out that’s not why he isn’t talking to me by now. Please stop coming up with reasons why I shouldn’t feel this way.”

The muscle near his ear tenses as he clamps his jaw shut, and his grip on my arm tightens before it releases. He nudges my fingers with his before clasping my hand. “All right.”

“Sometimes I wonder how she could do this to me.” I press my lips together and widen my eyes to keep them from watering. It doesn’t help. “All these years I’ve blamed myself... If she’d just lived then maybe things would be different. Maybe my own father wouldn’t hate me.”

“It’s not your fault. You have to know that.” Sam surrounds me, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me tightly to his chest.

“I’m supposed to know that, aren’t I? But it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like I caused her death. And he blames me because my birth cost him the love of his life. He can’t bear to see me or talk to me because it reminds him of how much he lost. It isn’t fair.”

I never thought I’d share these thoughts and feelings with Sam. I half expect him to tell me I’m wrong to put so much stock in something that happened so long ago. Or that it isn’t the reason why my dad’s the way he is. Or to ask me how I can believe such a thing.

He doesn’t.

“She would have loved me, wouldn’t she? She would have stayed if she could?”

“Of course she would have.” He strokes my hair until my sobs quiet, and never once does he tell me I’m wrong.

Opening up to him helps. It makes it hurt less. “That’s what today reminds me of.”

“Maybe we can change that.” He keeps an arm around me as he opens the door to the kitchen and pulls me inside.

Ru glances up for a second as Sam marches me straight past his staff.

“I’m sorry about the storage room,” I say, and he shrugs.

“You can do it tomorrow,” Sam says, tugging me toward the stairs. “It can wait.”

“If you’re sure.”

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