Page 46 of Keeping Mr. Sweet

Zipping up the down coat, I pace along the edge of the building, checking both ends where there are little alcoves some of the staff use for smoking. I pull out my phone and check for text messages or missed calls although it hasn’t made a peep since her father hung up on her. When I call her, she doesn’t answer.

“Where are you, Ash?” My pulse is racing as I round the building. She’s not out front either. And a glance through the front windows shows she hasn’t gone back inside.

Loud music pumps out of Mayhem Avenue. Grunge or pop rock, or something in between. I put my head down and march in that direction. Christ, I hope she’s there. Damn, I hope she’s not in there getting hammered or dancing on the bar. My jaw starts to hurt, probably because I’m clenching it so tightly.

I slip through the door and wind my way to the bar, so I can get a central view of the room. It’s stuffy inside, and I start to sweat as I scan the crowd. It’s on my second pass I catch sight of her. She’s facing in my direction, her companion’s back turned to me as he leans against the wall with her caught between them. They’re deep in conversation.

I tug at the zip on my coat. Why is it so hot in here? And why do my legs feel shaky all of a sudden? The guy moves in real close, but she doesn’t push him away. I take a step toward them. And then another.

She turns her head to lift a glass with something dark in it as he gets too close for comfort. My vision goes hazy. Am I wrong about Ash? Is she really that screwed up by her past? Was I wrong to believe we could do things differently? End things differently? Have a future?

Her gaze lands on mine as she pauses in whatever she’s telling him. Her jaw drops, and her bottom lip falls open, but she doesn’t move away from him. Is this how she pushes me away? Is this how she finally makes me give up on her? I can’t believe she’d go this far, and yet my eyes tell me otherwise.

I spin around, get dizzy. Maybe all that champagne went to my head. Perhaps that’s why I’m so uneven on my feet. Or it could be because there’s an elephant crushing my fucking chest right now.

“Sam?” I swear I hear her voice even through the music, but my feet move toward the exit of their own accord. I can’t breathe in here, and I need oxygen. I need cold air to sober me up. I need to have a stronger backbone when it comes to this girl who destroys me every damn time.

“Are you all right?” someone asks as I slam through the door and out onto the street.

Am I? Am I? How the fuck am I supposed to be all right now?

I swing right as the door flies open again behind me. “Sam. Shit. Sam. Stop.”

She sounds breathless. From chasing me? Or running into some other guy’s arms?

I spin back around. Really need to stop doing that. It’s messing with my head more than she is right now. “Why?”

“I need to explain.” She hurries up to me, does a double take when she sees my face. Can she see how disappointed I am? Can she tell she’s finally pushed me to my limit? “Sam, what’s wrong?”

Oh my God, I almost laugh out loud at that. It gets lodged in my throat so hard it burns. “Are you kidding me? After everything, you haven’t changed a bit, have you?”

“It’s not that simple,” she says, grabbing my bicep. “And I don’t think now’s the time to explain. We should get you back to the restaurant. Call a—”

“No.” I jerk away from her. My heart hurts so damn much over her. “Don’t come back to the restaurant, Ash. Don’t come back. I’ll give Summer your things. I can’t do this anymore. You can’t come back.”

“Sam, please,” she chokes out. “You have to understand—”

“I tried. I really tried.” My arms weigh a ton when I try to shrug. “But some lines you can’t cross and come back from.”

“Sam.” She grabs both my biceps and shakes me. “Will you listen to me, please? You need a doctor. Right now. You need a fucking doctor.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” How is a doctor supposed to stop this heartache? My heart? This pain? These symptoms? “Oh shit.”

“We need to take you to the hospital.”

“I’m having a…Oh God.”

“Someone call an ambulance,” she screams as the pavement rushes up to meet my knees.

“An ambulance?” A man asks.

“Yes. We need an ambulance.” Ash sinks to the ground beside me, takes my hand in hers.

“Calling right now,” the guy says.

“Am I?” I wheeze. Can’t catch my breath. Is this what my father felt before he passed? It hurts like a son of a bitch. “Heart attack?”

“You’re going to be all right, Sam.” She squeezes my hand for dear life as her fingers stroke my hair away from my forehead. Her voice cracks when she says, “Just stay with me, all right? Just stay with me. I need you to be okay. Please, Sam. Don’t let go.”

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