Page 16 of The Heartbreak List

“You’d go with me?”

“Yeah, of course. Let me give you my number.” I hold out my hand for her device and she unlocks it and gives it over. I hand it back once I’ve finished entering my digits and called my phone, so I have her number too.

“I have to go. I’m running so late.” She’s already backing away from the table as I scoop up the carton of cupcakes for the crew. She waves her phone in the air. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Any time.” I raise a hand and wiggle my fingers as she disappears out the door. Possibly sooner than later if I can call in a favor on that tattoo she wants.

Chapter Six

Indy

WhenIwassix,I fell off the monkey bars and broke my arm. It was an open fracture and the bone sawed through my skin, leaving me with a decent—to this day—scar. I remember that it hurt a lot, but it’s my mother’s ashen face and teary eyes that I think about most when I recall that incident.

Even after all this time my heart still pounds and my hands grow clammy thinking about it. Seated in one of the Cape Cod Adirondacks, I wipe the dampness on my shorts and then rub my thumb to and fro over the raised scar on my upper arm, while I watch my dad grilling.

He doesn’t say much as he flips steaks coated in his secret sauce recipe. But what does one say when one is faced with losing their only daughter?

I can’t imagine what it must feel like for them to be aware that they’re losing a child. Every time she thinks I’m not paying attention, I see that same frantic look in my mom’s eyes that she had the day I broke my arm. They’re pretending everything will be fine, but they’re terrified.

It’s the reason that I walked out of our last family dinner. The reason why I’m contemplating how difficult it would be to jump the back fence and outrun the next-door neighbor’s pit bull, instead of sitting through another one.

“Mom said to make sure that you’re warm enough.” EJ drapes one of Mom’s homemade quilts around my shoulders before he takes a seat on the lounger next to mine. He’s still dressed for the office in charcoal slacks and a pale blue business shirt.

“Thanks.” I pull the comforting weight around me and inhale. It smells like rainy Sundays playing board games in the family room. Often Gray would join us because he didn’t much enjoy being at his own home. His parents fought a lot before they got divorced.

Hooking a finger through the knot in his tie, EJ tugs it loose while he takes a swig from the neck of a Miller Lite. “She thinks you’ll die of chill before we ever have to worry about your brain liquefying and bleeding out your ears.”

I snort against the back of my hand. “I should hope so. That would be a terrible way to go.”

“Yeah.” His mouth curves down in the corners and he runs his thumb over the label on the bottle, his joke giving way to reality.

It’s more likely that my brain will herniate and touch my brain stem, causing important organs to stop working completely. Or that I’ll lose the ability to swallow and aspirate on my own saliva and choke to death. Or that I’ll have a seizure that I won’t recover from. There’s also the possibility that I’ll simply fall asleep at some point and not wake up. I hope for that one the most. It sounds peaceful. “At least you’ll be the golden child for the first time in your life.”

“Indy.” His pained gaze meets mine.

“Come on, EJ, I need someone to act normally around me.” My phone chirps with a text notification, and I swipe the screen to bring it up.

Theo: Have you decided what kind of tattoo you want to get?

“Gray?” EJ settles back on the lounger with a hand behind his head.

“Uh, no.” I press my lips together as I consider my reply to Theo’s question. I’ve only managed to decide I want a tattoo, but not what or where. Should it be thoughtful or daring? Small and hidden? Or out there for everyone to see? “A friend.”

“You have friends?” He smirks.

“You’re a jerk.” I roll my eyes at my big brother. It’s the type of normalcy I crave. Where I’m not the girl everyone needs to be extra cautious and vigilant around. I smile as I type out a text. “That was weak, even for you, bro.”

Indy: I’m not sure. A butterfly or flowers maybe. Until recently I didn’t expect I’d ever give into this whim.

“Is Gray on his way?” EJ’s mouth bunches and the lines in his forehead deepen. “I thought he’d be here already.”

“He’s running late. He had to meet Patton on the way over. His renegotiated contract was finally ready to sign.”

Theo: Ahh, so cutesy then?

Indy: I guess.

“There’s my bro. Were your ears burning?” EJ jumps up and stalks toward the house where I suspect his best friend has appeared.

---