Page 24 of The Heartbreak List

Pez looks at me. While I don’t talk about my past, he knows this isn’t my first rodeo. That I’ve watched someone I care about die. It’s been years and it doesn’t get easier to be without her. But this is different. I went into this friendship with my eyes wide open. It’s been mere weeks, but at some point that’s going to mean I’ll miss her. I try to convey that I chose this with a nod and a tight smile that’s as brittle as it is fake.

We have limited time and one goal to accomplish, and I’d rather focus on that than the heavy truth. “What about hot air ballooning? Or feeding giraffes?”

“The idea of feeding a giraffe kind of creeps me out. Their tongue is like something from an erotic romance novel about aliens. They’re all blue and weirdly flexible. It gives me the creeps.”

I cough into my hand. Because my brain goes all the way to the dark side. Indy spread out and being hammered by a flexible, blue tongue. “Christ. I did not see that coming.”

By the pained expression on Pez’s face, he visualized something similar.

“Oh God.” She covers her mouth with both hands. Her eyes are so wide they start to water. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

And I did not mean to visualize that. But it happened anyway. I hold out my hand, palm side down to her. “Smack it.”

Her gaze flicks between my face and hand several times. “What?”

“Give it a tap.” I stretch my hand out another inch. “For the dirty thoughts.”

“Oh.” She smacks my knuckles. Then holds out her own hand. “You better do mine too.”

Pez shoves both hands in his back pockets. “So what animals do you like, Indy?”

Indy wrinkles her nose. “The wolves are cool.”

“Wolves, huh?” That’s different. Not what I expected. But then wolves mate for life. “They’re loyal. Protective of each other. Team players.”

“What about you?” Indy’s gaze is unwavering.

“Snow leopard.” I scratch my jaw. They’re sleek. Solo hunters. Great at being alone. I can handle being alone. I’ve even come to enjoy it.

“I personally like the turtle exhibit,” Pez makes a smooth ocean motion gesture. “They glide through water and they’re prehistoric.”

“And they moan when they have sex,” Indy says quietly, keeping her gaze on her list.

“What?” Pez frowns at me. “Did she say what I think she said?”

“I think our new friend is a little bit of a fiend.” I smirk.

“Well, they do.” She sticks out her hand for another slap. “It’s fact.”

“And on that note, I’m going to leave you two to it and get back to work.” Pez covers his mouth as he walks away. His shoulders shake.

I burst into laughter. “So, no zoo for you?”

“It appears not.” Her face brightens. “I have one for the list though. Oh, actually three.”

“Pancakes at two in the morning.” I read her list upside down as she adds shave her head and kiss in the rain. She’s thinking about her fiancé when she writes down that last one, no doubt. And why does that make me uncomfortable in my own skin? “I have a place for the first one. Great pancakes. And I can totally help with the second.”

But the third. It doesn’t need to be said. Her pillowy lips aren’t on my bucket list.

A customer comes up to the bar and saves me from damning myself. I take my time pouring pale ale into a pint glass and taking their money.

“You could add rock climbing if you wanted a challenge.” I clear away her empty glass. Pour her another. “Pez is seriously gifted when it comes to the sport. I’m sure we could organize to scale a wall if that was something you wanted to do… if you’re up to it.”

“Maybe.” She pushes her hair out of her face as her phone starts to ring. She reads the screen. “I better take this.”

Probably the fiancé. I inch away to give her space.

“Hey.” Her face lights up and she plays with her hair. “Tell me all about your day.”

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