Page 53 of The Heartbreak List

“Hey, this is Indy…”

I kick the baseboard of the bar while I listen to her voice. It’s been weeks since I heard a single word from her. I’ve left so many messages at this point. Too many. Like a desperate idiot who likes his friend more than he should.

Not that it matters because she’s made it clear that she’s sticking with her fiancé.

Beep.

“Uh…It’s me again. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume Gray doesn’t have you locked up somewhere so you can’t get to your phone.” I exhale and my shoulders fall. It’s pretty obvious that our friendship is over. “You’re avoiding me for one or all of the many reasons I’ve given you.”

“Hey, can I get a drink?” A woman calls out impatiently. When I glance at her, her eyes widen, and she licks her lips.

I turn my back on her. “I’m just…I’m worried about you. Worried whether you’re still…here. I’m going crazy not knowing. So if you could, text me. Anything. Even an emoji.”

My chest tightens all the way down to my gut. I need to let Indy go, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Wondering if she’s working on her bucket list without me. Or with him. Or if she’s thinking about me too.

She’s started to crowd Cooper out, and it terrifies me that I would consider letting her do it if she would answer my damn messages. I can’t be obsessed with another girl who will be cold in the ground long before her time. There’s only enough room for one. And for my guilt. But I’m not going to be okay until I hear from her. “Message me, and I’ll back off. I’ll leave you alone.”

I hang up and turn back to the woman in need of a drink. “What will it be?”

“White wine.”

I pour her goblet while she runs her gaze up and down my torso. She pays, and I hand her back her card. The minute she walks away, I light up my screen.

Nothing. Indy isn’t listening to my messages. She’s banished me from her life completely. Of course she has. As if there were any other way this would play out.

“You look like my sister after one of those assholes she dates ghosts her.” Wade walks past me with several cases tucked under one arm. He puts them down in front of the fridges.

He’s a decent bartender. Younger than the rest of us. Quiet. He doesn’t annoy me the way Lucas does. Isn’t in love with himself as much as Heath is. But that he would equate me looking at my phone to his sister getting dumped… I shove my phone back in my pocket. “Go fuck right off.”

“I didn’t mean…sorry about your relationship, man.”

“It wasn’t a relationship. We were friends.” Now we’re not. It’s fucking life. That’s how it was always going to go, right? It’s just, I have this feeling that I’m not done with Indy yet. And it’s probably not even about her. It’s about the bucket list. About Cooper and how she didn’t get to do everything she wanted.

No, it’s not about Indy at all.

Chapter Nineteen

Gray

“Here.”Idropthethick blanket around Indy’s shoulders. She doesn’t seem to notice when I tuck it around her and take a seat behind her on the Adirondack in her parents’ backyard. I press a kiss to her temple. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Mmhmm.” She stares into the small flames flickering in the fire pit. She’s lost in thought. Or lost in something worse.

The woman I adore isn’t really here with me. When I wrap my arms around her and she rests her head against my chest, she’s a million miles away. It’s been weeks, and I don’t know how to bring her back. Every day I can feel her slipping away a little more. It’s ripping me to shreds, watching her give up.

“Hey, do you want to grab a beer?” EJ’s mouth is pinched, and his stare is pointed. I’m not the only one who has noticed that Indy isn’t okay.

“I’ll be right back, babe.” I climb to my feet and follow her brother into the house.

He liberates a couple of IPLs from the fridge while Indy’s mom bustles around putting the finishing touches on a salad to go with the lemony roast chicken still in the oven. Stalking through to the living room where her father is immersed in ESPN, EJ leads the way out to the front porch.

We take a seat on the steps, like we did so many times as kids. Only with beer instead of lemonade popsicles. Quiet, serious thoughts plaguing us now, when it used to be girls and sport and cars.

“She’s not well.” EJ twists the lid from his bottle, but he doesn’t drink. “She’s going downhill too fast, Gray.”

“The headaches have been getting worse. The nausea too.” Her hair is falling out. She’s lost so much weight. Far more than I ever thought she could. “We had to schedule another fitting for her dress to make sure it would fit because she’s not eating at all anymore.”

He opens his mouth to say something.

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