Page 55 of The Heartbreak List

He nods. “She keeps it in a notepad in her bag.”

Her bag is on the hook in the hallway, the same place she hung her school bag way back in middle and high school. The notepad is palm sized, one of mine. It’s open to a page of her handwriting. Some of it is already crossed off, like her temporary tattoo.

Karaoke. Kissing in the rain. Shaving her head. Dancing on a bar. Going to an adult store.

“It’s all simple things that most of us have done.” EJ reads over my shoulder.

Indy has never been like most of us though. She’s always been careful. Always shied away from anything the littlest bit crazy. If this is what she needs to feel alive…which one of these is going to jolt her the hardest? “Do you think we can find somewhere for her to dance on a bar?”

“Uh, there’s this place. One of my colleagues told me about it. She said it’s not a strip joint, but the bartenders dance on the bar every Friday. And usually invite girls up out of the crowd. It’s called Line ‘Em Up.”

“I’ll start there then.” I pull up notes on my phone and make a memo. It’s two days until Friday. That gives me time to make sure it’ll be safe enough. “Will you come with us?”

“Can’t,” EJ says. “I have a, uh…date.”

The big surfer type guy behind the dimly lit bar is singing along to that Spice Girls song everyone knows. The one about getting with the friends. He seems to have every single word memorized.

It’s an upscale venue. Fairly modern, and if I had to guess, renovated in the last six months or so. Everything is in great condition considering the wall-to-wall drink-and-dance crowd it serves. EJ said his colleague told him it’s one of the most popular clubs in the city, especially on a Friday night. “Excuse me.”

“Oh, hey.” He turns from his focus on arranging bottles on the top shelf. “What can I get you?”

“I want to speak to your manager.” I’m not going to beat around the bush when it comes to Indy’s safety. I’m going straight to the top to get the assurances I need.

The guy grins widely, showing pearly teeth. “The name is Hudson. I’m management.”

“I’m Grayson Ford. I need my girl to dance on your bar.”

“Bud, it doesn’t work like that.” Hudson crosses his arms over his barrel chest as another guy comes into the bar with several cases under his arm. He crouches down to put them on the floor so that he can unpack them. “Although if she comes on a Friday night she has as much chance—"

“Hear me out.” I put my hand up to cut Hudson off. “My fiancée has a brain tumor. It’s inoperable.”

“Oh.” He drags his golden mane back with a hand, his gaze filling with sympathy.

The other guy pauses in what he’s doing. Everyone who hears about Indy has a reaction. Mostly thisoh shit, deer in the headlights, what do I sayexpression that makes me want to scream.

Hudson rests his palm on the bar. “Shit. I’m so sorry.”

Of course he is. There is nothing on God’s green earth that anyone can say that will make this better. The only exception would be the doctor telling us that she’s gone into remission.

“Thanks. It hasn’t been easy.” It’s excruciating on a day-to-day basis actually, but that kind of conversation is for the therapist I’ll need in the future. Once Indy is no longer my future. I have a feeling I’ll be swept out to sea at that point, with no idea how to get back to who I was before the diagnosis turned our world upside down. “The thing is that she has this bucket list that she wants to complete before she…dies. And dancing on a bar is on it.”

“Well, we have to make that happen.” Hudson leans on the counter. “You bring her on Friday night. I’ll make sure the guys know. All she’ll need to do is tell them that it’s for her bucket list.”

“I need a guarantee she’ll be safe. She’s on medication that makes her more susceptible to bleeds and bruises. She’s fragile.” Struggling. If I bring her here and this doesn’t work, I don’t know what I’ll do. “I need your guarantee that your guys will be extra careful with her.”

“We won’t let anything happen to her.” He stands up straighter, somehow grows impossibly taller as he thrusts out his chest. “I’ll word all the guys up.”

The other guy stands too. “Yeah, man, we’ve got her. We’ll make sure to treat her as if she is family.”

Hud glances over his shoulder at the guy, and the man shrugs and walks away. Turning to me, Hudson smiles. “They’ll treat her like she’s one of their own. You have my word she’ll be totally safe.”

“Alright.” I’m still not entirely convinced. But Indy needs this. And I need her.

Chapter Twenty

Indy

Graycomesintothebedroom. “Babe, you need to get up.”

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