Page 6 of The Heartbreak List

“You enjoyed it,” I whisper.

“Of course I did.” He moves closer and sits on the bed. Reaching out, he lifts my chin. “I love everything you do. And everything about you. Including the fact that you don’t take risks. Usually. What I don’t understand is why?”

I shrug. “Can’t I want to do something in the heat of the moment?”

“Yeah, of course.” The fine lines around his eyes deepen. “But you don’t, Indy. I can’t recall the last time you did anything without some kind of plan behind it. One that you’ve thought through carefully and assessed the consequences.”

“Sorry to interrupt.” A doctor in scrubs and a white coat enters the room.

“That’s okay.” Gray straightens. “EJ and your parents are out in the waiting room. I’m going to go tell them that you’re awake.”

“I’m sorry.” I reach for his hand and squeeze it. I didn’t mean for us to end up in an accident or in the hospital. I didn’t mean to make him worry.

He squeezes my fingertips as he exhales and then lets me go. “I’ll be right back.”

“How are you feeling?” The doctor approaches. He has kind eyes and a soothing voice.

“My head hurts.” I press my fingers to my forehead, but it hurts everywhere. It’s like my brain is trying to escape out of my eyes and ears and the base of my skull.

“I’d like to talk to you about that.” I’d estimate the man to be in his late fifties, with silver through his black hair and beard. “I’m Doctor Lewis. I specialize in neurosurgery. You were having headaches prior to the accident. Is that right?”

“Sometimes.” We were in a car accident. Why am I talking to a neurosurgeon?

“The reason that I ask is we found something on your MRI results that is concerning.” His expression does not change as he speaks, but he watches me like he expects me to have a reaction.

“What do you mean, concerning?”

“Well…” He takes a deep breath. “Unfortunately, while we were making sure that there were no injuries from the accident we found a mass in your brain.”

“A mass.” My pulse starts to race and there’s a shake in my hands. What is he talking about? Can’t he just spit it out? “Like cancer?”

“A tumor,” he corrects with a sympathetic tone. “We’ll need to look at whether we can do a biopsy to see if it’s malignant.”

“You’re telling me I have a tumor?” There’s an invisible rock on my chest. With every breath the weight grows more and more crushing. Tears sting the back of my eyes. That always happens when I’m overwhelmed. When things don’t go the way they’re meant to. “And you’re not sure if you can perform a biopsy?”

“A biopsy?” Gray stands in the doorway. His face is ashen, and he weaves a little while his gaze darts between my tear-stained face and the doctor’s. He rushes to my side. “Indy? What’s he talking about?”

“We found a brain tumor,” the doctor says when I open my mouth and no words come out.

All of our plans, everything I’ve worked for… and I have a brain tumor. What the hell, universe? I was antsy about not having any more plans. I didn’t need this curveball.

Gray blinks back the shine from his eyes. “So how are you going to treat it? What do we need to do?”

“Tumors in the brain have to be handled very carefully,” the doctor says as my parents and brother EJ file into the room. He stops speaking as my mom starts to sob against the back of her hand.

“Go on,” I tell him. Gray tightens his hold on my hand. I can barely see my mom through the tears that fill my eyes.

“We have the best neurosurgeon team in the country,” the doctor says. “You’re in the best hands here. We’ll run every test. If it’s possible to operate, we will. But if it’s not, there are other options.”

My breathing grows shallower. This isn’t supposed to be happening. It can’t be happening. “I didn’t plan for this.”

“No one does,” the doctor says sympathetically.

“What other options?” My dad’s voice is gruff as he steps in front of my mom and pulls her protectively to his side.

“There is radiation and chemotherapy,” the doctor says. “There are some clinical trials available.”

“Oh God.” My mom rushes over, wrapping her arms around me and Gray. She sobs into my hair. “My baby.”

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