Page 64 of The Heartbreak List

“I don’t want to crowd you.”

He clasps my face and brushes his thumb along my cheek. “I want you to. I want you in my bed. I was going to be so disappointed if you’d told me to take you home.”

I latch my seatbelt. “Show me your place.”

His apartment is hideous. A mixture of oranges and browns and greens that probably should have been forgotten decades ago. It’s barely furnished and has no pictures on the walls or keepsakes lying about. Two recliners, a sofa, and a coffee table don’t adequately fill the living room. A TV and the same gaming system my brother owns is on the opposite wall.

A bottle of Jameson is on the top of the fridge and several mason jars are in the drainer by the sink. There are a couple of pictures on the fridge. Cooper, maybe? She’s very pretty and she looks at the person behind the camera with love in her blue eyes.

The other must be his younger sister. They have such similar features. Same cheeks and nose and dark hair. But where Theo’s eyes are breathtaking in their uniqueness, her eyes are singularly blue.

“That’s Shae.” He nods at the photo I was staring at.

“I can see the resemblance.” Almost a decade younger than him, she sounds nice, if a little complex. He told me that she has ADHD and that sometimes it really messes with her head. Sometimes she takes rejection hard and that she’ll stop talking to him when she thinks she’s being a bother. I think he feels guilty that he hasn’t been there for her more. When he talks about her it’s with affection, but also with regret.

“I didn’t think to ask…” He pours water from a bottle in the fridge into two mason jars and hands one to me. “Are you okay for meds?”

“I have enough of everything in my purse to last through the next twenty-four hours. I’ll have to text Gray about collecting my things.” I sip the cold water. It’s been awkward between us the entire ride here. We went from hot and heavy to reeling at the repercussions of my breakup with Gray. Well, no, that’s me. Theo would probably happily go back to the part where I wanted him to fill me with blue alien cock. “I’ll arrange to get the rest of my medication tomorrow.”

“I can help…” He shrugs. “If you need me.”

I tuck my chin to my shoulder. I appreciate his offer, but he can’t help me with this. I have to deal with Gray myself. I owe him that. And the wedding…there will be vendors to call. I’ll need to tell everyone that the whole thing is cancelled. “I need to tell America.”

“Huh?” He puts his glass down at the same time I do.

“I need to call my best friend.” My eyes water as I search for my phone. “I’m going to have to tell her the truth. I’m going to have to tell her that I’m dying. I have to do it before she hears it from anyone else. Shit, my battery is dead.”

“I have a charging station.” He strides into the living room and comes back with a flat rectangular battery and cord, which he plugs in before placing my device on it.

My breath is caught until the battery on my screen lights up. I’m going to have to wait to call America. I’m scared of how she’ll react and that she’ll be angry that I kept it all from her. I’d be upset if the shoe was on the other foot. I’d be angry if I wasn’t there for her. But I’d understand that she’d want me to live my life too. I hope she sees it the same way.

Theo wraps his arms around my waist. I lean against him, soaking up his warmth and his strength.

“You look tired.” His lips caress the shell of my ear. “It’s been a long day. Maybe you should get some sleep.”

I turn in his arms. Lift up on tiptoe and wrap my hands around his neck. Press my lips to his throat. My world is a scary place. I’m a mess. And he is the only thing that feels right to me. “I’m not ready. I don’t want to close my eyes. I’m scared I’ll wake up tomorrow and this whole night will have been a dream.”

He wraps his hand around my throat. His fingertips rest against my pulse point. Lowering his mouth, he kisses me. “It’s not a dream, Indy. And if you wake up anywhere but in my bed, I’ll come find you. I promise.”

His lips enclose on mine again and I fall into the kiss we share. Until I’m on fire with the need to touch and press and discover.

I shove up the cotton of his shirt and he yanks it over his head and tosses it aside before lifting me onto the counter. His hands explore my body, and I explore him right back. Every touch makes me want more.

When he steps between my legs and presses against me, I can’t think of anything else but having him inside me. “Take me to bed, Theo.”

Hands stilling on my waist, he bows his head to my ear. His breath stirs against my skin. “You sure? You won’t regret it?”

My belly knots. But it’s not regret about being with Theo. “I won’t.”

“Good.” Grasping my ass, he lifts me up as he fuses our lips together. He carries me through his apartment and the whole time his tongue is exploring my mouth.

I’ve blown up my relationship with Gray. Our wedding. My family is going to be pissed. And I’m still dying. But at least I can be real with Theo. I can be free. I don’t have to make the safe choice around him; he doesn’t expect me to. He’s strong enough to let me live the life that I want. To keep me safe. To handle the short time we get to spend together. Time I won’t waste.

He places me on my feet in the bedroom. My toes sink into the shag. He has a perfectly made double bed and a two drawer nightstand. A discarded cool gel pack sits next to a bare-bulbed lamp and an empty mason jar with only the dried up hint of amber liquid in it.

He turns on the lamp while I tug at the zipper on the back of my dress.

“Let me.” He gathers up my hair before working the zipper down. When my dress is loose, he pulls it over my head. Discarding it, he inches my bra straps down my arms and then unlatches the hooks.

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