Page 70 of The Heartbreak List

“You’ve never introduced any of us to a friend before.” She peruses me with a pursed mouth and her brows drawn close together.

“You know I don’t play well with others.” His grin is cocky and followed by a wink.

“A real solitary creature.” Her eyes gleam. “Somehow I don’t believe you’re as much of a loner as you want everyone to believe you are.”

“That sounds about right.” I press my teeth into my lip and smile at him.

He chuckles. “Yeah, maybe I’m not so much anymore.”

What he doesn’t add isfor now. But I see the thought in his gaze as the humor fades. When I’m gone I don’t want him to go back to the way he was when we met. I don’t want him to be alone and succumbing to his misery. Or trying to numb it with pills and booze and fighting.

I run my thumb over the spot where my ring used to sit. Gray will have my family, but Theo…he doesn’t even talk to his. Except his sister. He barely opens up to the people who would call themselves his friends.

“I’m sorry to hear you’re sick,” Sadie says quietly and with a squeeze to my arm. “That’s rough.”

“It’s not what I would have wished for.” But I’m not sure I regret knowing that I’m dying. I’ve met people I never would have met and done things I would never have done. I’ve had more fun and experienced more than I did for the entirety of my life before the diagnosis.

“Well, we’re going to do our best to mark an item off your bucket list today.” She glances at Theo over her shoulder while he unwinds an electrical cord. “I brought my clippers if you’re ready to rock a sexy short do, Indy. And if not, I have a selection of wigs. We’ll find what you’re after. Or I can dye a wig to the color that you want.”

“You can do that?” I touch the tail of my pony gingerly.

"I can.”

It’s irrational but every time I touch my hair my gut clenches and I expect it all to come out in my hands. I have dreams about it. I can’t hide the way my scalp shows through anymore. At least I’m in control of how I lose it. And if I cover it. “I want to shave it all off. And then try on wigs.”

“Let’s get you set up then.” She ushers me over to where Theo has set up her equipment, and once I’m seated, tosses a cape around me. “Do you have any colors in mind?”

“I’m not sure…” It wasn’t really an option, so I didn’t let myself think about the details. Now my options are limitless.

“Orange.” Theo smirks at me from where he leans on the chair across from us. “It would be hot. Like flames.”

“Or like Cheetos.” I roll my eyes at him. “Somehow I don’t think I’m an orange girl.”

“Red?” Sadie sections off my long locks. “Or purple? Or pink? There are some gorgeous pinks and I can dye the wig whatever shade you like. We can even do ombre. Or rainbow hair. Or pastels.”

I chew my lip as I consider all the options. “What about blue?”

“We can do blue.” Sadie starts to cut.

“What do you think?” I ask Theo.

“You’ll look fucking gorgeous in blue.” His voice is throaty and his gaze is piercing. He holds out his hand to me. “But you’re going to have to slap it.”

“Alien tongue?” Because my mind went there too.

He grins, and I smack the top of his hand, then he taps my fingers with his.

“Alien tongue?” Sadie stops snipping. “Do I want to know?”

“Inside joke.” Theo winks at me.

Sadie shows me my ponytail. “We’re ready for the clippers I think.”

There’s something about all that hair not being attached to me that is so freeing. I feel lighter all over. Like a bubble or a balloon. I grin at Theo. “Oh my God.”

“Is that a good O.M.G. or a bad oh my God?” Sadie asks.

“It’s real good.” Theo beams back at me. His hands knead the back of the chair he’s leaning on.

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