Page 86 of The Heartbreak List

Though that night we met in the bathroom was the last time I was high, actually. How long ago was that now?

“You haven’t had a drink since I moved in with you.” She stares into my eyes. “I don’t believe you’re that guy anymore. You’re changing. Getting a handle on your issues. I see it.”

“It’s too soon.” And I still need to deal with my emotions. See a therapist. I’m not ready to face them. They’re older and my sister is grown—twenty-one this year—and I’m aware of how finite time is. But I’m not ready.

“Okay.” She moves to her knees and sucks my bottom lip between her teeth.

My cock responds like we’ve been talking about sexual positions and not my past. Kissing her is the perfect ending to this conversation. Her whiskey eyes don’t judge me. Just being with her makes me feel at peace in a way I didn’t believe was possible. When she grinds down on me, that’s the kind of distraction that makes everything else fade away. Leaving only our need to get as close as two people possibly can.

I skate my arms up her sides as I help her shed her dress in the confines of the truck. “Those roses look so sexy on you.”

“You’re talented.” She works my belt loose and pulls the leather from the loops on my jeans. “If it weren’t for the chemo I’d want them tattooed on my skin for real.”

“I’d love to see that.” I peel my shirt over my head and toss it over my shoulder. “So much so that it makes me want to take photos so I can remember every exact detail to replicate it later.”

“Let’s pretend that we have all the time in the world.” She reaches for her phone and lights up the screen. She holds it out to me with the camera app open. “Take the photo.”

“Are you going to pose for me?” I raise an eyebrow.

She crawls off my lap and I climb out of the truck so she can arrange herself side-on to me. Legs bent at the knee and toes pointed, she presses her hands into the mattress and lifts her chest before pouting at me. She’s fucking gorgeous. I literally can’t take my eyes off her.

I take a dozen photos before she giggles and pats the mattress. “That’s enough. Get up here.”

I flip through before I send all those photos to my own phone. One of them will be my screensaver for longer than this thing between us will last.

I’m not going to read into why that hits me so hard, so I shed my jeans and crawl back into the truck to lay beside her. When she reaches for me, I bring her nearer. I memorize every detail of her face in the fire and moonlight while I help her out of her panties and touch her the way she loves to be touched.

Her leg hooks over my hip when she’s ready. I trail my fingers up and down her spine as she wraps her hand around me so she can line us up. We take it slow until we can’t anymore. Until her toes curl and she tightens on my cock so beautifully that I can only follow her lead.

When we’re done we curl up in a blanket. The inky darkness gives way to charcoal and then to gray.

“Do you regret that you’re not going to get married?” I pour the rest of the cocoa from the flask into our cups.

It’s been on my mind since she chose me over him. And our conversation earlier about my past got me thinking about that girl I met in a club bathroom who knew who she was and what she wanted. Who would never have given me the time of day because she had it all planned out.

“I haven’t really thought about it.” She holds her cup with both hands as she sips at her drink. “I don’t regret breaking things off with Gray. Even if you and I hadn’t met, and I wasn’t dying, he and I weren’t right together. Eventually some stressor or event would have come along to show us that. But getting married… having my dad walk me down the aisle. Seeing my mom’s eyes well up while we get me into my wedding dress. Having EJ and America standing up with us… those are the things that I’ll regret missing out on.”

The gray becomes warm orange and pink as we sit in our own thoughts.

“Would you rather get married or go to a waterpark?” Would she marry me if I offered? Would I be able to handle it knowing that she’ll be gone soon? Would her family hate the idea? Of course they would. I’m not even sure why I’m thinking about it.

She rolls her gaze at me and giggles. “Waterpark, definitely.”

“Way more fun.” I turn my attention to the horizon. Her answer leaves me vaguely disappointed.

We watch the sunrise with my arm around her waist and her head on my shoulder and then we mark it off the list.

I drive us home, and she falls asleep on my shoulder. I come to a decision that I didn’t think I would. But it’s not about me. It’s for Indy. And her list. I’d do anything for her.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Indy

Ibounceupanddown in the seat next to Theo as he pulls the truck into the express pickup lane outside the airport. America’s plane is already on the tarmac. She sent me a message two seconds ago to tell me that they’re disembarking.

“You good to go?” Theo squeezes my knee below the hem of my shorts. His gaze drinks me in. “I can always park and we can go together.”

“Nope.” I already have the door open and I jump out. “I can’t have you slowing me down.”

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