Page 10 of His Heart for Christmas

?Emma watches me as she slides out of my coat. She reaches down to hand me my hat. She pauses at the door, looksback at me, her eyes lingering on my cock, then I swear she says ‘next time’ before darting away.

?She’s going to hurt me if I let her. But whether she means to or not, she’s already under my skin. My heart’s pounding for her, and that’s dangerous. Because while I’m standing here, wanting more, she’ll be the one to break me, just like the last time I let myself care too much.

?I can’t afford to let her in, not fully. But damn, it feels like I already have.

Chapter 7 - Emma

?Forgetting what Josh and I shared is impossible. I want more of him and I want him more than I want to work at the tree farm, even if I like seeing him every day. So, I let Tony know I’m not working there anymore and take the six foot tree I’m owed.

Josh puts it on top of my car and arches an eyebrow at me. “You’re not working here anymore?”

?“Someone mentioned it’s a problem. And since I want more... like last night,” I whisper, my cheeks warming. “I made a decision.”

?He smiles very slightly before he can cover it, then he shakes his head. “I’m almost twenty years older than you.”

?“As long as we can hold a conversation and enjoy our time together, I don’t see a problem with that,” I say. I rub his hand on my car door. “Be careful. There’s a storm rolling in tomorrow.”

?“You’re the one who needs to stay safe for me,” he growls.

?“What? Are you going to fight a storm to protect me if I don’t? I might like to see that,” I tease with a light giggle. I make sure no one’s watching since I don’t know where he stands on PDA, then stand on my toes and kiss his cheek softly. His beard tickles my lips, but I still remember how it felt against the inside of my thighs and my whole body warms. “Later.”

He curls his finger in my belt loop, pulling me closer to him. He lowers his head, making his dark blue eyes more intense. “Be safe. Stay inside and be good.”

?My breath catches in my throat. I feel his fingers tease the top of my ass, then he draws back. I shudder. “Okay.”

?“That’s my girl,” he says simply before walking away.

?My mind swirls with that last comment. Iwantto be his girl. I want whatever title he’ll give me as long as he keeps kissing me, smiling for me, and that laugh. I sit in my car in my drive way, trying to cool myself down even though my windows are starting to fog.

?I don’t know why he gets to me so much, but it feels like my heart is going to burst out of my chest just because he didn’t sweep yesterday under the rug.Maybe it meant something for him too?

***

By morning, the snow is already falling in thick, heavy flakes. It’s coming down fast and hard, and with the sky still dark, it barely feels like daytime. My mom and I spend time making cookies and talking until my dad texts me saying he’s having trouble getting his car to start.

?I slowly navigate the snowy, icy roads until I reach town. After helping my dad jump-start his car, I glance over at Josh’s place and notice his lights flicker. A wave of worry hits me. Hisold farmhouse can’t handle much in this kind of weather, and right now, I’m more concerned about him than the drive.

?Taking a breath, I head in that direction. I’m just being neighborly in the middle of a snow storm. It’s fine. The wind picks up as I park at his place and the snow starts to cover my windshield in less than a minute.

?After a small hesitation, I knock at his front door. It takes a minute and I consider turning around, but then Josh is at the door. He’s wearing jeans and a tank top, his normal flannel missing. He doesn’t have on his normal ball cap either. His dark hair waves and swirls with one short lock falling over his forehead.

?His cold eyes sharpen when he sees me. “This is not staying safe, Emma.”

?“It is if you let me in,” I whisper, my teeth chattering. When he hesitates, I motion to the roads. “Just for a bit.”

?Taking a slow breath, he lets me in and shuts the door behind me just as the wind starts to howl. Josh sighs. “I just made dinner.”

?“You don’t have to share,” I say brightly.

?He rolls his eyes, but motions me to the kitchen where he divides his dinner into two plates for us. Then we sit together on the couch. We talk about safe things for a while so I don’t say what’s on my mind. I want to bring up everything else we could be doing, but I don’t want to scare him away.

?“Does the age gap bother you that much?” I ask softly, unable to avoid the matter longer.

?Josh sighs. “Emma ...” The long silence is broken by the fire crackling in the fireplace. He rubs the back of his neck as he watches the flames instead of me. “It’s not the only thing.”

?I move a little closer to him and take a breath. “What else?”

?He snorts and rubs over his bottom lip. “Look, I ... I do want you, Emma. That’s obvious. I just don’t know if I’m built for more than sex anymore. My last relationship, my marriage ... I gave everything to it. My heart, my soul, my future. It was all wrapped up in her.”

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