Page 11 of His Heart for Christmas

?I take his hand gently, not sure if he’ll push me away. He doesn’t. His fingers lace through mine and my heart pounds in my chest at the skin on skin contact. His long and strong fingers are amazing, perfect. We fit so well.

?“I gave our relationship and future everything and ... and I lost her. Everything ended with her, Emma. All of it. When I realized how easy it is to lose someone...” He pauses a moment. I don’t interrupt. This is the most he’s ever said to me in one go and I’m excited to hear it all. “I cut everyone off. It’s better to not care than to care too much and end up worse than hurt. I was so lost in every emotion, so lost in general. I drank, I cut off old friends, I put everything that reminded me of her in storage just so I wouldn’t break down at the simplest memory.”

?“Josh,” I whisper, squeezing his hand. “No one in this town would ever say you didn’t love her. But ... I want to believe that your life didn’t end when hers did. It might sound ... harsh, but you’re still here. You’re alive and I know that if I passed and the person I loved was still around, I’d want them to find that kind of happiness again.”

?He raises his eyes to mine, just watching. I pull his hand into my lap and sigh. “But that’s easy to say when I haven’t been in the same situation. If you don’t want more, if you don’t know what you want, that’s okay. I care about you as you are and I want to be here for you however I can.”

?“It’s not fair to you to let this continue if I’m not sure.”

?“Don’t worry about what’s fair to me. Focus on what you want. On what you’ll let yourself have. That’s so much more important right now,” I encourage with a soft smile. “And if me being here invades your privacy ...”

?“It doesn’t. Not that you could leave, considering the blizzard,” he nods to the windows.

?I suck my bottom lip and nod. “Right. Well, how about we put on a movie or I can stay here and read while you go about-”

?“Stop talking and kiss me,” he whispers. “Now, Emma.”

?I stare at him for a long moment, my eyes wide. I lean in, then stop myself. “If you need time, Josh, I get it. Just because I’m ready for you, doesn’t mean you’re ready for me and I won’t push.”

?“I will,” he growls, leaning in and brushing his lips along mine.

Chapter 8 - Josh

?I want Emma. It’s not just about her beauty or the way she moves—it’s everything she is. The way she talks, the way she thinks, how she pulls me out of my shell without even trying. She makes me notice people, actually connect with them, something I’ve avoided for years. I’ve been haunting my own life, going through the motions like a ghost, disconnected, clinging to a past that’s long gone.

?But Emma... she has changed everything. Her willingness to step back, to give me space, only proves how much she cares, and it disarms me completely. It’s like she sees me in a way no one else ever has, and that makes resisting her impossible. She doesn’t push, but the way she holds back shows me just how much I need her. I can’t pretend I don’t feel it.

?Every second with her chips away at the walls I’ve built. I’ve tried to shut people out, to protect myself, but with Emma... I can’t ignore how much I want her. It’s not just physical; it’s deeper, something I can’t push away no matter how hard I try.

?“Let me think later,” I say, my voice rough with need. “Right now, I want you. I’m sure of that.”

?She pants softly and moves closer, kissing me gently. Her lips mold to mine, but she draws back. “Josh, I don’t ... I don’t just want a fling with you.”

?That’s what I wanted to hear the night before while I was going down on her, before I started to overthink. She rubs my chest. “I’ve always admired you, respected you, been so curious about you.”

?Every cell in my body craves her. I want to drag her upstairs, strip her down completely and have her in every position I’ve thought about.

?“You’re impossible to resist, Emma. Determined, ambitious, kind to everyone, you’re so much more than sweet,” I praise.

?She melts against me and rewards me with another soft kiss, her hand moving up my throat. She draws back. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay here. We have time if you need it so-”

?“I’m impatient,” I growl, dragging her back to me for another kiss, and another. My tongue teases hers and she pants against my mouth, doesn’t draw back anymore. She answers each lick, each kiss and presses herself tighter against me.

?“You’re the most patient and controlled man I’ve ever met,” she says against my mouth.

?“Not when you’re involved. I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you,” I growl, kissing her softly. “Every day I shoot daggers at the guys who talk about your ass.” Another kiss. “Because you’re mine.”

?“Josh, that word…” she whimpers.

?I kiss across her throat. “You moan for me. You come for me. You flirt with me. You want to be mine and I’m tired of pretending I don’t want the same thing.”

?She gasps, then grinds against me. I don’t remember her getting on my lap, but I don’t care. I pull her sweater and undershirt off, then stroke her sides as I kiss over her collarbone. “I’m going to memorize every inch of you with my fingers and my mouth.”

?“Yes,” she moans.

?“It wasn’t a question, sweetness,” I say before nipping the top of her breast.

?I’m desperate to have her however she’ll let me have her, but I want to take my time. She deserves every bit of pleasure I can give her and I’m going to follow through. I kiss her slowly, nibbling her bottom lip until she leans in for more.

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