Page 17 of Karma's Kiss

We laugh because weirdly enough, this whole thing is hilarious. I’m not so far into my anger that I can’t see that.

“He’s a real psychopath.”

“A monster,” she agrees.

I lie back on my bed, staring up at the blue ceiling my dad painted in here before I was born. My parents didn’t know if I was going to be a boy or a girl. My dad thought the pale blue worked for either gender, and it did. The blue paint makes me more sad than Matthew’s betrayal.

“Do you wish it was you?” Kendra asks tentatively.

I think on it for a second.

“No,” I admit almost sheepishly. “Is that strange? It hasn’t even been that long since we broke up, but I can’t imagine being with Matthew like that ever again. I don’t know how I managed it for so long actually.”

“He was a good boyfriend.”

“Sure.”

“And I think for a while there, he was what you thought you wanted in a husband.”

“He did seem perfect,” I add.

Then she laughs. “Now we know he’s the farthest thing from it.”

I think about canceling my date with Sawyer. If it were arealdate, I would. There’s no way I’m in the right headspace to usher in a new romantic relationship. I need a year to recover! I probably need to hike the Appalachian Trail until my heels bleed! Try Buddhism! Discover the self-help genre! Go vegan!

So it’s a good thing this isn’t a real date. It means I can go through with tonight and use it as a distraction from my rock bottom.

No more Waldorf wedding.

No more perfect husband.

No morepotentialperfect family.

No more promotion.

Right on time, Sawyer comes to the door to collect me for our date, and I’m wishing he hadn’t decided to play the role of a gentleman because it means Queenie flings the door open and gets to firing off a million questions before I can dart down the stairs.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, Sawyer Garnett. What are you doing here on a Saturday night? You forget David doesn’t live here anymore?”

“He’s here to get me,” I explain from midway down the stairs.

Both of their heads whip in my direction, and their reactions are eerily similar. If I wanted shock and awe, I got it. This is a revenge dress. Aread ’em and weepdress. A little black number that squeezes all the right places and flirts with the top of my thighs. I’ve paired it with summer sandals and a delicate gold necklace I stole from Queenie’s vanity. She sees it and winks.

“Gorgeous, hun. Where you two headed?”

“I’m taking her out.”

Queenie’s jaw drops. “Are you really? Well that’s a shock. Does David know?”

I snort at this question. David sure does know. Sawyer made sure of that after the baseball game. There were a few of us left after the post-game debrief (i.e. a round of shots and a chant for Sawyer since he made the game-winning out). At the time, Lindsey was showing me a Pinterest board on her phone, laying out all her ideas for Cruz’s first birthday. It looked like quite an undertaking.

“I’m happy to help with anything you need. Put me to work.”

“You mean that? I could really use you. I know it’s silly to go all out for a kid’s first birthday when they won’t even remember it, but—”

I held up my hand. “Are you forgetting you’re talking to someone whoplansevents for a living? The bigger the better in my opinion. Cruz might not remember it, but you will.”

She grinned. “Glad we’re on the same page. David thinks I’m crazy.”

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