Page 4 of Leo and His Love Bunny

Everyone in town knows him, and I might possibly have a huge crush on him.

And maybe when you’re in self-destruct mode, the only thing you can think of to get yourself out are more self-destructing things.

But somehow, admitting I have a crush on Leo, or at least on his biceps, because he has the biggest biceps of anyone I’ve ever seen, seems a little bit more acceptable than admitting the fact that the 1000 cupcakes I have sitting in my bakery all look like human breasts.

“Mrs. Higginbotham, it’s Leo Lipinski!” I lower my voice a little and talk to her like I’m sharing a secret, girl talk, you know, the thing that unites women everywhere. Trying to make her feel like we’re girlfriends so that she is happy with me and doesn’tfeel like she needs to go and get the entire town to boycott my shop. “I’ve never told this to anyone before, but I have a huge, massive, absolutely soul-crushing crush on Leo. Or, I should say, on Leo’s delicious biceps.” I lower my voice more and try to draw her in. “Because, honestly, when Leo walks by, how can you look at anything except for those massive muscles? I mean, have you ever seen biceps that big?” I’m laying it on as thick as I can. I’m not exactly known for my ability to charm people. I’m more known for my ability to make good food. I mean, I’m not down on myself or anything, but you can’t have it all, and God graced me with the ability to bake, not to make small talk or, apparently, dig myself out of the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done in my entire life, because as soon as I say that, I hear Ryan say, “And there you have it, folks, I didn’t even have a chance to introduce her, and Nora is telling us about her deepest, darkest crush. As she’s holding what town stronghold Cordelia Higginbotham called herR-rated cupcakes. I have a feeling that this is going to get Nora kicked out of her church, but you can be the first to come down and tell us if you think they look like human breasts. I have to say,” Ryan scratches his head and looks like he can’t believe he is saying what he is, “they have been flying off the shelves just as fast as they can make them.”

I can’t believe this. I really can’t believe this. I thought that the day couldn’t get any worse, but bring on the alligators and put me in the dungeon. That would seem like a cheerful, good, actually excellent day, after this.

“And maybe once Leo comes up, we can ask him what he thinks about Nora and her huge crush on his...biceps.”

Goodness. I close my eyes as my head starts to throb. What have I done?

This would be nothing in New York City. People would yawn and walk by. But for my small town, this is huge. And I have to admit, I don’t particularly want someone selling R-ratedcupcakes and admitting to their crush on someone’s biceps over the local,familyradio station waves.

Everything—my whole life—has just blown up in my face.

“I’ll take one. And I’ll take it back to Pastor Greenbrier, and I’ll let you know whether or not he approves. I’m afraid that our church will no longer be able to collaborate with yours if he feels the same way I do, which is R-rated breast-like cupcakes have no place in a family-friendly town like Whisker Hollow.”

Cordelia says that just as snobbishly as she can as she pulls a card out of her purse and hands it to me. She holds it with two fingers, with her other three fingers sticking straight up, as though me even touching her card might cause her to become contaminated from my R-rated cupcakes.

I take her card and run it, and then box her cupcake up in one of the see-through boxes I had gotten just for the occasion. I thought it would be nice for everyone to be able to see how nicely decorated the cupcakes were and never thought that some people, like Mrs. Higginbotham, might feel like she needed to cover it with a scarf as she walked out.

To protect the innocent eyes of the rest of the people in town. Although, most of those innocent eyes seem to be in my shop.

It is as she is walking away that Ryan asks me, “And how many cupcakes do you have for sale today? Just so people know how quickly they need to get down here before you’re sold out?”

I expect him to turn the mic toward me so I can speak into it, but he doesn’t, and it takes me about three seconds of staring at him before I remember the mic that is pinned to my lapel.

Then I realize that I admitted, in front of the entire radio audience, that I have a huge crush on Leo Lipinski.

My eyes fly in horror to the back of the line near the door that Mrs. Higginbotham has just walked out, and I see big blue eyes, set in the most handsome face I’ve ever looked at, surrounded by the biggest biceps I’ve ever seen, staring straight at me.

What have I done?

Chapter 2

Leo

I have to admit I’ve never noticed Nora, the cupcake shop owner, before.

But more than that, it is a little disconcerting to know that all she’d noticed about me were my big biceps. I suppose I should take that as a compliment. Most men would, but I guess after playing hockey for the last ten years, I want to be known for a little more than my muscular physique. I understand that that impresses women, and when I was younger, that was all I needed, but as I’ve gotten older, I feel like so many people don’t know the true me.

I know, that sounds so whoo-whoo and girlish. I’m almost embarrassed to say it.

But when I see a smart business owner like Nora, admitting that all she sees when she looks at me are biceps, it’s a little...irritating. Except, not in the kind of way you get when you’re angry, but the kind of way where I want to point out that there is a lot more to me.

Anyway, that is a fleeting thought, because it’s obvious that her life is imploding.

I go to the same church as Cordelia Higginbotham, the Baplicodist Freewill Community church. I’ve also seen Nora at several times. I’m not unfamiliar with Nora, since she plays the piano with the church across the street, and sometimes our churches do things together, I’ve just nevernoticedher. Not like that.

Regardless, I understand the predicament she’s in. Those cupcakes do look an awful lot like breasts, and Cordelia Higginbotham doesn’t need much more to try to get Nora ostracized, even from the church across the street.

But I’ve been a member of the Baplicodist church all my life, and my great-great-great-grandfather was on the founding board.

Yeah, in the South, we gowayback.

Anyway, I might have some pull.

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