Page 63 of Leo and His Love Bunny

Leo

“You mean she’s not your girlfriend?” Pete says, the weight that he is holding flopping back down with a clank onto the bar.

We're back in the gym, and Pete is with Cal and me. I want to suggest that we stop in for cupcakes on the way home, but none of us probably should. The season is getting closer, and Cal and I have to be in shape.

Pete has put on a few extra pounds. He’s picking up a job as security for some of our home games. He needs to be in shape as well.

“No. We're just friends,” I say, and my tone says let it go.

Of course, Pete and Cal have been friends with me for too long for them to take heed to any warning in my tone.

“Dude. She’s perfect for you. What's the matter with you?” Pete rolls his eyes, and puts both hands back on the bar grunting as he lifts the weight.

I’ve got weights in both my hands, and I’ve lost count of the number of squats I’ve done. But, typically I do squats while he does his reps and we end together, so I’m not worried about it. Unless of course he’s not counting either.

“Neither one of us have time,” I say, trying to sound reasonable and not defensive.

“That’s what everyone says. You have time for what you make time for,” Cal says, in one of his lucid moments where he’s not talking about anteaters. Then he goes and ruins it. “Like anteaters. I make time for them, because they’re important. You make time for Nora, because she’s important.”

“I am making time for her. We're going out later with my brothers, but we're just friends.”

I don’t know why I have to add that last part. I definitely sound defensive. And my legs are burning. But, Pete is still pushing the weight up and down, so I keep squatting. I know I’ll appreciate the work I’m doing now when the season starts.

Plus, if I think about my burning legs, I’m not thinking about Nora, and how much I want to kiss her again. Those are not thoughts I should be having about someone who’s just a friend. But, I can’t tell my buddies that.

“I sure hope you don’t look at me the way you look at Nora when my back is turned,” Pete says, sweat trickling down his temple, as he pushes the bar up again.

“So she looks good. I can look.”

“If you’re not going to marry her, someone else is. I wouldn’t want you ogling my wife like that,” Cal says, and he’s right. I should keep my eyes to myself. That’s the smart thing to do. I know the general consensus says it’s okay to look, but it starts with looking, and then moves on to wrong thoughts and the wrong actions, and I prefer to keep myself in line. Not only is that what makes a man of character, but I haven’t gotten this far in my life by being distracted by good looks.

Although Nora is beautiful. But it’s not really her outward beauty that appeals to me. It’s her heart. The way she handled that woman who didn’t like her. The way she inspires me to be better, even without really trying. Maybe she doesn’t even know. Don’t you always want to be with someone who makes you a better person?

But then, I have to question myself. What have I done for her?

“So, after you retire, is that when you’re going to go after her? If not, when? When is going to be a good time? Are you just going to put it off indefinitely, and let the best thing that ever happened to you slip away?” Pete pants as he speaks, and I have a feeling that he might be using the same strategy I am — waitingfor me to quit, since we typically quit at the same time. Maybe he doesn’t realize that I lost count, and I’m depending on him. It feels like we’ve been doing this forever, and if I don’t quit soon, I’m probably going to fall down.

But I don’t, just in case it hasn’t been as long as I thought. I don’t want to look like a wuss.

Plus, if I quit, there won’t be anything else to focus on other than Nora, and I’m trying not to think about her. Although, Pete has a great point. When is the right time?

I’ve already lived through my twenties. Do I want to start having children when I’m forty? I definitely want kids. Although I’ve never really thought about it until Nora. Being with her and her pushing me to get to know my stepbrothers. It’s kind of fun trying to think of things to do with them. I’ve already taken them out for ice cream, after we went go-carting. Nora is a terrible driver, and I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who’s almost wrecked a go-cart. It was fun to tease her, and she took it good-naturedly.

That was last week, then, when we went to my next speaking engagement, she seemed just as friendly as ever, but I still felt the distance between us. If only I hadn’t kissed her.

“What’s the matter?” Cal asks, having dropped down to do push-ups. He hasn’t broken a sweat yet, and I feel like he’s somehow in better shape than I am. It worries me a bit. Maybe I should have retired last year.

“Nothing. Why?” I say.

“Because, you got all quiet when Pete pointed out that you’re not getting any younger. When is going to be the perfect time to have a relationship? Why can’t you do it now?”

“You’re a good one to talk. You’re more interested in your anteaters than you are in any woman. Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with you.”

I know there’s nothing wrong with him. He just has some things in his past that make it hard to trust. And I know it’s wrong of me to go there, but I don’t want to talk about me.

“Someone changed the subject,” Pete says, his voice even more strained than mine feels. I wonder if I sound that bad.

I don’t think I can feel my legs, other than they’re shaking like a fishbowl in an earthquake.

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