Page 72 of Leo and His Love Bunny

“I’m a woman. I don’t have to be rational,” I say, sounding like a petulant child. Of course I need to be rational. My gender doesn’t give me an excuse.

Sometimes I don’t have an excuse. Sometimes I do get upset and emotional, and I’m just dead wrong. But I don’t have to be. I can head this off. I can look at this analytically and realize that he was probably right to be afraid that I would be upset. Because it still burns me that he didn’t tell me.

Matt starts to walk away. “Rather than being upset that he didn’t tell you, it might be a good idea for you to be grateful that he gave you the opportunity. Because, I’m pretty sure that those numbers I just saw in your checkbook are the most numbers that have ever been in there in your life before, and you have that man to thank for it.”

Yeah. Thanks for being reasonable, Matt.

I stuff the sarcastic answer back, and pressed my lips together. “Thanks. Truly. Everything you said is absolutely true. Still. He could have told me.”

But, all the good outweighs that. And, I don’t think he was deceiving me on purpose. I think he really did want to do something good, but then didn’t know how to tell me. And, as much as I hate that, hate the idea that he was afraid that I would have the exact reaction I did, and he was right.

Matt is halfway out the door, when he stops and turns around. “And you don’t even know it was Leo. We’re just guessing.” He lifts his shoulder and says, “Maybe Leo’s agent has put all the money that they get into an account and paid by third party. I don’t know.”

That was reasonable.

“Thanks for the reminder.”

He could be right. As much as I don’t want to admit it, he probably is. About everything. It might not be Leo, and if it is, Leo had nothing but me and my good in mind, and if it isn’t, I’m overreacting for nothing.

I determine that I’ll be asking him about it tonight.

Chapter 32

Leo

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” I say as Nora and I pull into the parking lot. This is the last speaking engagement of the summer, and possibly of my life. I have made a decision, and for some reason, I want Nora to be the first to know.

“I guess I’ve been thinking,” Nora says, and I wonder what she’s been thinking about. The party is this coming Tuesday, only a few days away, and I wonder if she’s nervous about it. I know she’s not a party person, any more than I am, and these are people she doesn’t know. If she asked me to go to a party with a bunch of strangers, I don’t think it would be high on my list of things I would want to do, except I feel like anything with Nora is better than anything with anybody else.

“I’ve been thinking too. I made a couple decisions, and I wanted you to be the first to know.”

“Really?” She turns to me, surprise in her eyes. Is it really surprising to her that she would be the first person I would want to talk to when I make a major decision?

“What...you’re surprised?” I asked as I put the car in park. It’s getting dark earlier, and the sky is streaked with orange and pink above the mountains. I look at it for a moment, before turning back to her.

“I don’t know. I mean, we’re friends and all, but... I don’t know that I have any more right to know something than anybody else.”

I want to tell her that I feel a lot more than friendship toward her, but I don’t think this is the time. I need to make a speech, and she needs to go man her cupcake tables and hopefully drum up some business. She’s told me that this is the best summershe’s ever had, the best year she’s ever had, and has thanked me numerous times for getting her in with each and every vendor.

It’s been eating me up with guilt that I haven’t been able to tell her that I’ve been paying her. I don’t have to explain to her the longer I wait, the harder it is for me to figure out how I’m going to tell her that I’ve been doing it all along. I wish I would’ve just told her up front, and offered to let her pay me back or something. Because I have a feeling she wouldn’t have done it if she had known.

“So what is it?” she asks, and it brings me back to the decision that I’ve made.

“Pastor Greenbrier is retiring.”

“Oh,” she says, sounding surprised. I take it she hadn’t heard confirmation.

“And rather than work on a speaking career, I’m going to be the assistant pastor at his church this year while I take classes. I should finish up my degree in less than two years and he said if the church agrees, he’ll slowly hand over the pastorate to me. The Board of Directors has to go along, but he said that looks promising.

“What about Mrs. Higginbotham?” Nora asks, and I can hear the humor in her voice.

“I think I’m winning her over. I’ve launched a charm offensive on her, and she almost likes me.”

Nora laughs, and then she says, “You will make the best preacher. I am positive of it. And, I’m really looking forward to it.”

Her words warm me from the inside out and I’m tempted to tell her that I decided that maybe I shouldn’t be holding off on this relationship thing. That my friends are right, although, I don’t want her to think I’m only interested in her because my friends told me I should be. It’s all about how I feel towards her, and the kind of wife I believe she will be.

“It’s too bad you can’t do both. Because from the reaction of the people who listen to you speak, you're excellent at this as well.”

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