Page 74 of Leo and His Love Bunny

I don’t have notes. Nora is right. I’ve memorized everything I want to say, and I don’t need notes. However, I do have a PowerPoint to go with my presentation, and the remote is sitting on the podium.

I’m not looking at that, though, as I walk out. I’m looking at the audience, looking for Nora. It’s not hard to pick her out. She’s standing in the back.

I can’t believe the whole summer has gone by, and this is the first time she’s listening to me. As I think that, I remember yet again that I haven’t told her that I’m the one who is paying for the cupcakes. I wonder if I need to. It’s something I would like to be able to do anonymously, but I did leave her thinking that she was going to be paid by the various people who are hiring me.

I don’t like that she believes a lie, but I also don’t want her to know that I did it, and not just because I don’t want her to figure me out. I also would just like to be able to do something nice for someone anonymously, without everyone in the world knowing that I did it. Is that so wrong?

I think about telling her that it was an anonymous donor, but what if she flat out asked me if it was me? Or if I know who the donor is? I’ll be backed into a corner, and I’ll have to answer.

I greet the crowd, and launch into my message. By now I’ve gotten the jokes down, the timing perfect, and the audience is laughing and engaged within the first sixty seconds of my presentation.

I hear them laugh, I know they are focused on me, but every time I pause, my eyes go to Nora, to see what her reactions are. Those are the reactions I’m interested in.

If her smile is any indication, she’s loving it. And that makes me happy in ways I can’t explain.

Chapter 33

Nora

Leo is amazing. And I know that’s not just because I think I’m falling in love with him. He has the crowd eating out of his hand. They love him. They laugh at all the right places, and he looks so calm and confident, and the things he says are just amazing. He sounds so wise, with so much common sense, and yet his words sound profound as well.

I wanted to listen to Leo's speech just because I wanted to see him, not really because I thought I was going to get anything out of it. But, he’s talking about perseverance and never giving up and doing whatever the purpose of your life is, figuring out why God wants you here. And, I guess he says it in such a way that I’ve never really thought about it from that angle before.

Is it my purpose to make cupcakes? Is it to make people smile, make them happy, give them something to eat while they celebrate?

Or maybe it’s just to have a store in a small town and be something that people are familiar with and that grounds them to their roots and gives them a place to laugh and feel familiar and safe.

I’m not sure. But I want to figure it out.

He doesn’t quite have a standing ovation when he’s done speaking, but the clapping goes on for quite some time. And then, he stands at the microphone and asks if anyone has any questions.

I don’t recall there being a very long Q&A after any of his other speeches, but sometimes I got caught up with the cupcakes, and I couldn’t say for sure. It seems like there are more people asking questions than I recall. Maybe because this is the last speech of the year. Maybe because hockey seasonis starting and I know there are rumors of his imminent retirement. Maybe there have been rumors about him becoming a pastor as well. There are questions on all the subjects, and Leo handles them with ease and confidence, probably born out of the press conferences he does after every game.

Then, there is a question that stopped me cold and has me straining to listen.

A bespeckled man is holding a phone in one hand, has a laptop on his lap and some kind of iPad in his other hand. I think he might be a reporter. His voice is loud and it carries. I hear the question clearly.

“Do you think that having leukemia as a child has made you more or less successful in the professional hockey league?”

The room goes absolutely silent, and my eyes shoot to Leo. Was he expecting this question? And why didn’t I know that he had leukemia as a child?

That is news to me.

“I’m sure it probably did,” Leo says, and he might be answering the man with all the electronics, but his eyes are on me.

I don’t know what my face looks like. Probably shock, and maybe a little bit of betrayal.Why didn’t he tell me? Am I that scary? Was he afraid?

I feel like he was holding something back from me by not telling me, and I remember again about the payment coming from just one spot. LLB. I should have asked him about it. I should have clarified. Because now, I suspect everything. And I really shouldn’t. When has this ever come up in any conversation that we’ve had? We don’t talk about cancer or kids or anything like that, and why should we? We’re just friends.

If I’m his girlfriend, or his fiancée, or his wife, I would say this is something I definitely should have known. But none of those labels apply, and I shouldn’t be offended about it.

Except, it does hurt a little.

The man asks a follow-up question, and I hear it, but it’s not as clear and loud as the first time. That’s because of the roaring in my ears.

“Aren’t you afraid that the cancer will come back?” The man says, and Leo pauses before he answers. It feels like the whole room is holding their breath.

“It’s a fear I live with everyday,” he says simply, and my heart goes out to him. Of course he’s probably afraid of that. Of course.

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