Page 76 of Leo and His Love Bunny

“But you’re not anymore.”

“But I could be,” he says, his eyes focused on the road ahead of us.

I get the feeling that he’s a lot more emotional about this than he’s letting on. And, I feel like the reason he didn’t tell me was because my reaction was so important to him. Could that be true?

“I really was going to tell you at some point. I just... It’s not something that I lead with when I talk to anyone. And, it’s not really something that too many people know. I wasn’t afraid that you’d go blabber or anything, I just... You lead with your best, you know?”

Of course. That made perfect sense. I didn’t lead with all of my faults and flaws, and if that’s the way he feels about having cancer, then I can understand.

“Having cancer isn’t a character flaw though.”

“No. But it’s a weakness.”

I don’t argue with him. I don’t know that I agree with him, but maybe I would feel differently if I had had cancer. I don’t know, so I guess I probably shouldn’t make assumptions about something I don’t really know anything about.

We drive on. The darkness is falling around us; it’s been coming earlier and earlier. A reminder that summer's drawing to a close and fall will soon be here. That means hockey for him, and seasonal cupcakes for me. Plus, I just got done with the busiest summer I’ve ever had, and I’m looking at the busiest fall as well. Things have really changed for me this summer, and it’s almost all because of Leo.

“I was looking at my bank statement the other day. I haven’t looked at it very much lately, other than to make sure that the money was coming in, because everything has been so busy. But I finally had a chance to sit down and take a good look, and... All the deposits that have come in for the speaking engagements that I’ve done with you, come from the same person or entity. Can you tell me why?”

I try not to hold my breath. This shouldn’t be a big deal. Whatever he says, I’m not going to get upset, I’m not going to fly off the handle. I am going to think about this rationally, and make sure that I give him the benefit of the doubt. He certainly deserves it. I know he has my best interest at heart. Even if he doesn’t act the way I think he should. He’s acting the way he thinks he should, and what makes me think that my way is better than his?

I have a little pep talk going on in my head while I wait for his answer. It’s a long time coming.

“The person who paid you wanted to remain anonymous.”

“I see.” That made sense. “So it was one person?”

“Yeah.”

“So the people who I have been making cupcakes for haven’t been paying me. It’s been this... One person.” I say this slowly. I am trying hard not to get angry. Because, what I suspected is true. Even if it’s not Leo, it doesn’t really matter. I’ve been thinking this whole time that people wanted me to be there, when in reality, the people who were hosting Leos lectures, did not care whether I was there or not.

This is a hard blow, and even though I’ve given myself a pep talk, I feel hurt. And... Betrayed.

“I thought the idea was that you would go along, and people would hopefully find out about your shop and either become customers, or place orders. Has that happened?” Leo sounds like he’s being reasonable, and I try hard to not allow my emotions to rule my response.

“That’s happened. I’ve been busier this summer than I ever have, and I’m looking at the busiest fall I’ve ever had as well.”

“Then it was a success.”

“But under false pretenses. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t being paid by who I thought I was being paid by.”

“Does it matter?”

“It does. I...feel like a fool. I didn’t know what everyone else knew, and —”

“No one else knew it. No one else knew anything.”

“They all knew that someone was paying me to be there.”

“And they didn’t know that it wasn’t someone associated with each individual or company or group that hired you.”

“Those groups did.”

“They were the only ones.”

“And you.”

I hold my breath, because that is the crux of the matter. Leo knew, and he didn’t tell me.

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