Page 80 of Leo and His Love Bunny

Although, I guess I don’t see anything wrong with not doing it. I don’t see anything wrong at all with just being with one guy, and not wanting to touch or hold hands or dance or be with multiple people. There’s nothing wrong with what feels right to me. I’m telling myself that, even as I stand up and walk beside this dude, who is still holding my hand.

He pulls me on the dance floor, and while I love the song, nothing feels right about this, and it has nothing to do with the guy. He’s nice.

“What’s your name?” I asked, figuring I at least ought to know the name of the guy I’m dancing with.

“Dan.” He grins, like he finds it funny that I’m not interested in dancing with a stranger.

He pulls me closer, and I know this is terrible, I know I’m being rude, and I know I shouldn’t, but I stop and pull back. Thankfully, he does not hold on to me, but allows me to go.

“What?” he asks.

“She’s done.” The words come from over my head, and Leo shows up beside me.

He grabs a hold of my arm and doesn’t say anything to me, but glares at Dan, then, he pulls me off the dance floor. He’s not dragging me behind him, but he’s definitely walking with purpose, and he doesn’t stop at our table, but goes straight to the door.

We’re out in the night air before I think to protest at all. But, I really didn’t want to, and I feel like it would be silly for me to protest when I’m not upset. However, he’s acting a little bit like a caveman, and while it is amusing, I’m not sure why, it’s also irritating. Because... You can’t just do that.

“Leo?” I say, and he slows down immediately.

“Yeah?” he asks, as his strides come to a stop, and he looks at me, really looks at me for the first time since he grabbed my arm on the dance floor.

“What’s going on?” I ask and my tone is quiet and confused.

He blows out, and then looks toward the car, then back at me.

I know that there are some people who say that there is a toxic masculinity, the type of masculinity that makes a man want to be protective and strong and maybe even jealous. I don’t agree. Men are supposed to be masculine, strong and tough and protective. I know that there are some red flags that would keep me from wanting to be in a relationship with someone who is going to suffocate me, or not care about me, but that is totally different than a man being a man.

But that’s not what Leo’s doing. And I don’t think there is such a thing as toxic masculinity. I think men are just masculine - different than women. And I expect them to be. I wouldn’tdemand they act like a woman, just like I hope Leo does expect me to act, or think, or be unemotional, like a man.

I like the differences between the genders, and I’m not asking Leo about that. I think he knows what I’m confused about, because he puts a hand behind his neck, before his hold on my arm loosens, and his fingers run up and down my forearm.

I try to ignore the fact that he’s making me shiver and focus instead on his face.

Finally he says, “I’m sorry.”

“What was up with that?” I ask, not arguing or fighting. I just...don’t really understand. If we’re just friends, I should be able to dance with anyone. And if Dan is some kind of enemy, he should have warned me before we went that I wasn’t supposed to dance with him. I would honor that gladly, because my loyalty is with Leo hands down. I’m not interested in trying to make him jealous, and if there is someone he doesn’t want me around, all he has to do is tell me.

Laughter floats over to us in the breeze, and Leo turns his head.

“Do you mind if we go...to your shop?” He breathes in, and then blows the breath out.

“Sure,” I say. It’ll be dark and completely closed up, but I know the code for the door of course, and we would definitely have some privacy in there.

Without saying anything more, his fingers, gentle and light and caressing slowly down my skin, slip into mine.

I try not to close my eyes. He’s just touching my arm, then holding my hand, but it feels so good.

We walked to the car, and he opens my door for me, and I look at his face, searching it before I sit down. He definitely looks sorry, but he also looks like he’s got some things he wants to talk to me about, and I’m fine with that. I can wait. I don’t need to pepper him with questions right now. If he wants to wait untilwe get to my shop, that’s fine. I’m an adult, not a two-year-old who needs to have answers this second.

I don’t say anything, but I sit down in the seat, and he waits until I’m in, before he closes the door and walks around.

He doesn’t say a word for the entire trip to my shop. It’s only ten minutes, but still, it feels like a long time, because this isn’t necessarily an easy silence. It feels like there’s something heavy and hard sitting between us, and I don’t like it. I’ve not felt like this with Leo before, and I want to get the easy relationship that I had with him back.

I’m not sure what I’m hoping for, but the churning in my stomach is still there, but now for a completely different reason. I’m not sure I want to find out what exactly is going on, because it feels like tonight could change everything, and not in a good way.

Chapter 35

Leo

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