Page 12 of Pete and His Precious

I yank my eyes away from hers but not before I see her open her eyes in mortification.

It’s Naked Woman from the animal rights rally a year ago.

I tell myself to calm down. I wish I was wearing my uniform, so I could be here in an official capacity, but I did not havethe foresight to do that. So all of a sudden I am in the peculiar position of needing to pretend that I’m in the library looking for a library book.

I take breath. I can do this. She doesn’t realize that I’m the person who’s supposed to be meeting her, and she is never going to find that out if I have anything to do with it.

“May I help you, Officer Pete?” The Librarian, I think her name is Verity, has appeared at my elbow, and I didn’t even realize it.

I try not to jump out of my skin. All of my senses are on high alert. The same way they would be if I were in a dangerous situation in my official capacity as a police officer.

“I’m looking for a library book on... girls.”

I want to slap my forehead and close my eyes and sink into the floor. Why? Why was that the word that came to my mind?

Probably because I’m still stewing over the fact that I’m going to be babysitting a ten-year-old girl and know nothing about her gender, or about children in general.

The librarian has backed away from me, her eyes drawn down, and she says, quietly, but with enough disdain that I know she does not approve. “We don’t have books like that, Officer Pete. You’ll need to go to the adult bookstore in the next town over.”

I know she’s about ready to spin on her foot and walk away from me, giving me the cold shoulder like I would deserve, if that’s actually what I meant.

“No. You don’t understand,” I say quickly, thinking I can salvage the situation. Hopefully I can.

“I have a girl.”

“You have a daughter?” She turns around and says the words loud enough that I feel every single eye in the library is directed at me. That was the exact opposite of what I was trying to have happen. I was trying to get attention off of me.

Plus, I don’t have a girl. I was just trying to get the words out.

“No.”

“Then what do you mean?” she asks, once again looking suspicious.

“I am providing security for a girl.”

“I would think that you would learn how to provide security at whatever training facility you attended in order to become a police officer,” Verity says, sounding very formal. I know she has been confused by my whiplash answers.

“No.” I take a deep breath, and say to her, “Just let me say this. I am out of my depth here.”

“I understand. I haven’t seen you in the library in an actual I-want-to-borrow-a-book capacity, ever. So I would think that you would be out of your depth.”

Oh she has no clue.

“I am providing security for a 10-year-old girl, and I don’t know anything about girls. Do you have a book about – I wrack my brain for the name of the class about kids that I was forced to take in college, that I mostly slept through. But I attended every class, because I will follow the rules, remember?

I snap my fingers as the name comes to me. “Human development and family studies. Something that tells me how to handle a ten-year-old,” I say. I had absolutely zero intention of doing this. I kind of figured that I would just follow her around and be as invisible as possible. But, now that I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth, I’m just trying to get it out without shoving it the rest of the way to my stomach.

I’m not sure I’m successful. I’m pretty sure my toes are pushing on my esophagus. At least that’s what it feels like in my chest.

“My goodness. Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?” she says, and I feel relief flowing through me, like a cool summer rain. I think I’m out of the woods.

“Follow me,” she says, and she takes off directly toward Naked Animal-Rights Woman.

I want to turn around and walk out of the library, but I can’t risk her stopping and wondering why in the world I didn’t follow her, and striking up a conversation with Naked Animal-Rights Woman, who might be, but I’m not entirely sure, good friends with the librarian.

So, I gird up my loins, understanding the biblical passage all too well right now, and follow her. It takes more courage than one might think.

Of course, the books she wants to show me are right beside Naked Animal-Rights Woman. She is still sitting by herself with a sketchbook in front of her and the crayon sitting sideways, waiting for... Me. Yeah. Only she is never, ever going to find out.

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