Page 18 of Pete and His Precious

“What is wrong with you?” Cal says. “Love bunny? Who to be called love bunny?”

“Nora doesn’t mind. In fact, she likes it,” Leo says, but the tips of his ears are bright, bright red.

Cal and I roll our eyes. “I just bet she likes it,” I say, moving around Leo. I have no idea what Nora likes, and if she likes to be called Love Bunny, good on her.

I’ve never met a woman who would like that, but then again, I seem to have a knack for meeting women who don’t like much of anything.

Except for Naked Animal-Rights —

Sorry, Lord.

Except for Sultry Voice Lady.

“That’s not driving you out for a run,” Leo says, looking at me with this new understanding he seems to have been attaining while I was just working on being a cop. Being a pastor is a perfect fit for Leo. He really does know people, and he cares about them too. I don’t particularly want to share my life story with him, although I am frustrated enough to say, “I was supposed to meet someone for dinner, but she stood me up.”

“Really?” Cal said, as he propped his foot on the bench and tied his shoe.

I assume that Cal and Leo had changed their minds about working out and are taking run with me.

It’s nice to have friends, although I was really going to push myself, because of my frustration. I wanted to come back, dead tired, too tired to think, too tired to sit down in my recliner and try to listen and see if Animal —

Sorry.

Sultry Voice Woman was working on her book.

“People are just rude anymore,” Leo says, and then he adds, “I guess I shouldn’t lump everyone together. We’re all redeemable, I’m sure of it, because it’s not God’s will that any should perish, but sometimes that’s hard to swallow when people are nasty.”

“And that’s coming from a preacher,” Cal said, slapping Leo on the arm.

We file out of the locker room and out onto the street.

We stretch a bit, as Leo says, “So what are you gonna do about it? I mean, do you know her?” He’s stretching his quad, and I wait until I drop my arm, lifting my other arm, stretching my triceps before I answer.

“I figured out who she was when I heard her talk.”

“She’s that girl with a good voice...?” Cal says, and I remember that I’d actually told him about the woman who lives beside me.

“She is,” I say, and then, because I know my buddies will appreciate the irony I say, “I figured out who she was today.”

“Your neighbor,” Cal says, like we hadn’t already gone over that.

“Not just my neighbor,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose, because it still gave me a bit of a headache when I thought about how messed up this whole thing was.

“Not just your neighbor?” Leo says, bending over and putting a hand flat on the ground, looking up at me. “What else?”

“Do you remember that woman I arrested a year ago, who had thrown her shirt at someone, and I booked her for indecent exposure?”

“Yeah, when you were grabbing a hold of her you accidentally grabbed her —”

“We’re in a public setting. Don’t say that word,” Leo says in a warning voice.

“What? I’m not allowed to say parts of a woman’s anatomy?” Cal says, lifting his arms up. He shakes his head. “Men are so much simpler than women.”

“Anyway, she’s my neighbor, and she was also supposed to be my date tonight, but she saw me, didn’t want to eat with me, ordered food, but didn’t bring anything with which to pay for her food, and I ended up paying for it.”

“Why? When she was going to stand you up, and when she’s that woman that you’ve been avoiding forever,” Cal says, sounding like he can’t believe how ridiculously dumb I am.

I have trouble believing that myself sometimes.

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