Page 71 of Pete and His Precious

I turned, and see that she’s trailing after me, but hasn’t made it the whole way to the door. She looks a little confused. Probably wondering why I kissed her and am now running out like a teenager, instead of a thirty-year-old man. Maybe that’s because I’ve been waiting for her all my life, and I don’t exactly have the experience to figure out how to make the situation so it’s not the most awkward thing I’ve ever done.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t pay you.”

She looks outraged, for a moment, and I wonder what I’ve done.

And then her expression eases, and in the back corner of my mind an idea emerges that maybe she thought I was paying her to kiss me.

It’s true I don’t have a lot of experience with women, but I’m not that desperate.

“For the drawing lesson,” I say, still holding the bills out.

I sit Trixie down, and I walk back to the middle of the kitchen and hand her the bills.

She takes them, and she looks like she’s going to turn away, and...were those tears in her eyes?

That makes me want to run even more, but I can’t do that. I need to stay, and make sure she’s okay.

And also fix this terrible blunder somehow.

“Zoe?” I say, my voice husky and soft. I want to blame it on the kiss.

She stops, but her face is still turned down.

I might as well be honest. That’s all I know how to do anyway.

“I’m sorry. I...I’m not very good at this, because I haven’t kissed a lot of girls. For the most part I’ve been waiting for someone like you. Someone sweet and kind, who makes me laugh, and challenges me, and maybe even someone who has a voice like honey that runs over so soft and smooth and warm that I could just sit and listen to you all day long.”

Her head tilts a little, but she doesn’t look up. I don’t know if I’m doing this right or not, but I guess if I’m being honest, it’s right. I just don’t know how she’s feeling about it.

“I wasn’t expecting to kiss you tonight. I am sorry for not respecting the lines you’ve drawn. You said you didn’t want to have a relationship until you’re successful in your career and I truly think if that’s what you want, it’s what you need to do, as long as you’re sure it’s God’s will. I... Didn’t mean to not respect that, and as hard as it will be, I’ll try not to let it happen again.”

She’s still not saying anything, and still not looking at me, and I’m not sure what to do. I can’t touch her. If I touch her, I might be tempted to run my fingers up her arm, and wrap themaround her neck, and kiss her again. In fact, the idea of doing that makes me quiet for a couple of seconds.

“Please don’t hate me. I’m sorry. Not because I didn’t enjoy the kiss,” I add, with some sixth sense telling me that I need to make sure she understands if it were up to me, we’d still be kissing. “But I’m sorry because I didn’t mean to. I know you didn’t want to.”

I hold my breath, hoping that she’ll say that I’m wrong. That she wanted to. That I’m worth more than a career to her, and she’d rather have me and no career, or at least try to have us both at the same time. But that is insane.

“Are you mad at me?” I finally say, knowing that I should just get out of here, leave her so she can go to bed. Because she has a life beyond me. I feel selfish, but I also feel a little desperate too. I want to know she’s not mad before I leave.

“No,” she says quietly, and that’s all she says.

“Thanks for the lesson,” I say, after hesitating for a moment. I want to push her. Want to know exactly how she feels, at least know that we’re good. But, I need to go. Something tells me that’s the best thing I can do right now. Maybe that’s the part of me that I should listen to, but how do you know?

So, I turned back to the door, pick up Trixie and his cage, and walk out, wishing with every cell of my body that I could just stay, be with her. At the very least, know that everything is okay between us before I leave.

But sometimes, you just don’t get what you want.

Chapter 27

Zoe

It’s Monday. Three days after Pete kissed me.

I know that I should go visit Bexley today. She wouldn’t have expected me before this, but I usually don’t let more than a few days go by without seeing her, and since I told Kylie that I would keep an eye on her, I definitely should make the effort.

But Pete will be there. He is with her every waking hour, and that was part of the reason I didn’t go over the weekend. I know I’m being a baby by avoiding him, but I don’t know what to do.

He kissed me. It was...glorious? Is that a word to describe a kiss? I’ve never wanted to describe a kiss like that before, not that I’ve kissed that many people. But, with Pete, I didn’t want it to end. I wasn’t trying to think of an exit strategy, or trying to figure out how to politely suggest that perhaps the dude I’m kissing should consider brushing his teeth in the week leading up to the kiss next time.

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