Page 19 of Forbidden Impulses

I know these things wouldn't be bad in a world where everything made perfect sense. But in a universe where I love my best friend more than anything else, it's possibly the worst thing that could possibly happen.

Breakfast was... awkward. I felt like shit after I reminded myself of Suzie lying in bed, thinking she's doing me the biggest favor, while I lust after her dads. Then we hit the slopes. I'm no novice on a pair of skis, and neither were the men, so we had a load of fun.

Which brings us to the now. The part I've beenlooking forward to all day long, yet dreading at the same time.

I know I can make my excuses, and they'd probably let me, but something keeps drawing me to them and I'm tired of fighting it.

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with looking, right? And with the state my heart and head are in, looking is all I should and will do.

"You ready, lovely?" Lorcan calls to me, drawing my attention away from my internal debate. We've just finished some hot chocolate to warm up after coming in from our time out on the slopes—at Monte's insistence. Monte had disappeared five minutes ago, to get some supplies, and he must have returned while I drifted off into my head.

Pushing my empty cup forward, I smile in response before getting up. "Yes! More than. I've not built snowmen since middle school."

An indistinguishable look flits across Lorcan's face, but it's gone before I can try to decipher it. "Right," he says, rubbing his hands together. "Got your gloves?"

I pull them from my huge coat pockets, but before I can put them on, he takes them from me, hands them to Monte and helps me slip on the coat. I'm so shocked by his actions that I just stand there while he zips and then buttons me up. And then... before I know what the hell is happening, he kisses me on the tip of my nose and takes a step back, making room for Monte, who—I kid you not—takes my gloves and slips them on my hands one by one. After checking that the little velcro strips are secure, he smiles, kisses me on the cheek and pulls my beanie down over my ears.

"There. All warm and snug. Let's go build you a whole town of snowmen."

I'm in such a daze over their actions, my body reacting in ways I don't know what to do with, that I allow Monte to take me by the hand and lead me outside. We leave through a patio door that leads to a huge garden. From all the bushes and trees, I'm sure it's beautiful in the spring and summer, but right now it's one large winter wonderland and my neglected inner child itches to get building and playing.

My cheeks are still warm from the blush created by Lorcan and Monte's attention, and with my tummy still doing somersaults, I rush past them, pulling Monte by his hand to get to the lush piles of snow.

"Oh, my gosh! This is going to beamazing!"

The next few hours are a huge blur. I completely lose track of time while kneeling in the snow—to both men's consternation. It's incredibly important that my snow people arejust perfect, and the only way to ensure that is to get up close and personal with the big white balls.

Eventually, Lorcan gives in on the nagging and sinks next to me. At Monte's annoyed growl, he looks at him with a cheeky grin. "If you can't beat her, join her." He winks at his husband, blows him a kiss and then nudges his hip with mine.

"I'd like to beat her ass, alright," Monte mutters.

The words send a delicious shiver down my spine that has nothing to do with the cold creeping into my bones from my wet knees. He stomps off, mumbling something, but I'm not paying any attention because my complete focus is on the snow family coming alive in front of me, and the sexy man kneeling next to me, helping me shape them.

Monte had brought out a bunch of carrots, scarves, black pebbles and sticks he'd scrounged from somewhere, so putting those finishing touches on them is easy enough. I am having more fun with building and shaping them.

Working with the slowly melting ice is almost as exciting as working with the scalding, molten sand. You can shape, form, sculpt, and create. Your only limit is your imagination. And I suppose some bullshit about physics and science and stuff. But snow, as a medium, is pretty forgiving and will do quite a bit as long as it's cold enough outside.

A stomping, grumbling Monte interrupts Lorcan and me when he comes up to us with three large foam pads. They look like some kind of pool floaty.

"You'll both catch a fucking cold, being idiots like that. Then I'll be stuck doctoring three of you instead of just one." He hands us each one of the pads and throws his own on the snow before kneeling and reaching in front of him to bring in a huge pile of snow.

Lorcan grabs Monte's hand and brings it to his mouth for a kiss, and I swear I can feel Lorcan's lips on my own freaking hand.

Tingles and zings rush through my body, and suddenly I don't feel cold at all. These men are too sexy for words, too tempting to try to resist, and way too sweet for me to put up any more resistance.

A small moan slips from my lips and both men stop to stare at me, a hunger so fierce filling their gazes. I could try to lie to myself and convince myself that the hunger I see is for each other and not for me, but that's exactly what it will be. A huge fat lie.

Dammit.

I can't do this.

Shaking my head to clear the lust and dirty thoughts filling it, I jump up, turn on my heels and rush toward the lodge.

"Annie!"

One of them calls to me, but I'm running so fast, my breathing so harsh in my ears that I can't tell who it is. The fierce need to get away overrides everything else and panic mode sets in.

I don't know why I thought I'd be able to resist them if I spent time with them. It's why I avoided them that first week in their house.

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