Page 117 of My Turn

“I saw them.” My ear was pressed against his chest and I could hear his heart speed up. The fact that he was afraid meant he felt something, at least. “When you went to check on Ben, I came down here for wine. And… I saw him.”

My eyes burned at the memory. He stroked my back as tears rolled down my cheeks. Was it wrong that I was taking comfort from the person who had caused my pain?

“Why?” I asked.

“They weren’t good for you.”

“How do you get to decide that?”

He pushed me back and gripped my shoulders. His expression was devoid of emotion except for the intensity in his blue eyes.

“Because nobody cares about you the way I do.Nobody. Every instinct inside of me forces me to protect you, so if someone is a threat, I… Alana, I have to keep you safe.”

“I understand Preston,” I admitted. “To a degree. He was just an asshole but if I think about it enough, I can see why you’d want to do that.”

He looked slightly relieved. When I looked over at the vessels, I began to tremble. His hands moved to the sides of my neck, gripping me tightly.

“Alana, baby. Your brother was mixed up in a lot of shit. He knew things about me that made him dangerous.”

“What’d he know?” When it was clear he didn’t want to tell me, I pulled away from him. “What’d he know, Jayce?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he replied dismissively.

“It matters. You want to get past this? You want to enjoy the spoils of all the fucked up shit you did? Everything has to be on the table. Every truth.”

“And what happens if you don’t like the truth?”

I shrugged. “Maybe I’ll call the cops.”

The smile that twisted his lips was menacing. It didn’t necessarily make me afraid, but it made me very aware of who he was; of what he’d done and was likely to do again if he felt the need.

“You’d turn me in, baby?”

“Maybe,” I mumbled. “Do you deserve it?”

“Oh, I most definitely do. But that’s only if you want to cling to some bullshit rules of morality that society enacted. Am I going to kill someone who doesn’t deserve it? No. What’s wrong with protecting the person you love, though?”

“You said all threats need to be eliminated,” I reminded him. “What if you’re a threat to me?”

He laughed. “I’d never hurt you.”

“You have hurt me! I could get past the physical things, the stalking, all of it, but you took things from me. You took my brother.”

“All I did was make you face what you really want. When’s the last time you thought about Jake, Alana?”

“Jake? I don’t… Over the weekend, I guess.”

He sucked in a slow breath. His jaw ticked a few times, then he shook his head.

“Do you still see him when you look at me?”

My lips parted, but I didn’t know what to say. Honestly, I wasn’t sure. If I thought about it, the last time I remembered that happening was when he’d kissed me in my classroom. Slowly, that memory, the association with his brother, had been crumbling.

“That’s what I thought,” he said when I remained silent. “I told you I was your savior.”

“And my undoing.”

“They go hand-in-hand. Are you strong enough to become what I’ve made you or are you gonna pull this stupid shit?”

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