Page 118 of My Turn

“I don’t know. I should be mad at you, but…”

“You’re gonna have to make a decision here.” He held his phone out to me. “Call them if you need to. You know what, I have a better idea.”

He pushed off the wall and strode toward a cabinet in the corner. I watched him warily, wrapping my arms around myself. When he turned around, I stepped back.

“If you want to be free of me, you’ll have to kill me.”

I stared in horror at the gun in his hand. Shaking my head, I took another step away from him. He strode forward and latched onto my throat, then thrust me against the wall. I screamed instinctively but was silenced by his lips on mine. He pushed the weapon into my hand, curling my fingers around it before he stepped back. When he threw his arms wide, making himself a willing target, I swallowed hard.

“No.” I shook my head and tried to pass the gun back. “No, I’m not going to hurt you. The point was to understand. I get it. We can move on now.”

“I killed Jake.”

My back hit the wall as my ears began to ring. “No, no, no.”

I should’ve known. As soon as I learned who Jayce really was, I should’ve put it together. Maybe I hadn’t wanted to. He’d freed me from the guilt and fear of being with Jake’s twin brother, but knowing how it had happened…

“And Mike,” he continued. “He wasn’t only a danger to you. Alicia should be with her family and, well, he tried to use you. He deserved to die.”

I couldn’t really argue with that one. It didn’t even surprise me.

“And Jake…”

Jayce shrugged. “Jake was a threat, Alana. He was hurting you.”

“No, he was in your way,” I said, strength coming into my voice again. “You were dying for a way to get rid of him.”

“If that was the case, I would’ve done it without waiting for a reason. I gave him the chance to be honest with you and he failed. He didn’t deserve you.”

“Why does our obsession mean he didn’t get to live? You’re selfish.”

“And so what if I’m selfish?” he shouted. “That’s never going to change. I willalwaysput you above everything.”

“I know,” I whispered. “That’s why you’re a threat.”

“Alana…”

Raising the gun, I tried to ignore the way it shook in my hand. He glanced at it only briefly before he met my eyes again.

“You want to kill me?” he asked, stepping forward.

I moved my finger to the trigger and raised my chin. He smiled and continued until it was pressed against his chest.

“If I’m going to die, it’ll be at your hands, baby. Let’s do it. Do you think you can?” When I didn’t respond, his head cocked. “I know you’re strong enough. I hurt you, remember? I’ve stalked you since freshman year. I broke into your house all the time, scared you, drugged you, bound you, raped you if we want to be technical. Why haven’t you done it already? Come on, Alana. Come on!”

I screamed, but my finger wouldn’t move. Suddenly, his eyes moved over my shoulder and widened. When I whirled around, he grabbed onto my biceps from behind, but I’d already pulled the trigger. It just clicked.

“Oh my god,” I gasped. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”

“Alana, give me the gun.”

I shook my head. He came around to my front and tried to take it, but I held it to my chest.

“I could have hurt her,” I cried.

“No. It’s not loaded, but you need to give me the gun now. Come on, baby. Everything’s going to be fine.”

That was a lie. Everything was a mess. I shot at a child, at Alicia. I didn’t know she was here. Did he tell me? I didn’t think he had, but then I thought about the Disney songs I’d heard coming from the living room earlier. Why hadn’t I thought of that?

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